–SORRY FOR THE DELAYED MORNING CALL SHEET–
Before moving, I apparently made the mistake of getting Charter Internet — and it went a little something like this:
ME: Hi, I’m moving to North Carolina, work online and want Netflix to stream without any issues. I’m not worried about the money, I’m worried about the heartache that comes when these things don’t work properly. What do I need to purchase from you in order to ensure everything’s fast and reliable?
CHARTER: You need this and this and this and this and it’s going to cost THIS much.
ME: You’re sure? Because I’m willing to spend more to ENSURE there are no problems.
CHARTER: Absolutely.
ME: Sign me up.
A month later I’ve spent more time with Charter tech personnel than my own wife. A month later I’ve been told to unplug-plug in my router so many times that doing so now causes a facial tic. A month later I’ve purchased two Blu-ray players (because they blame my equipment) and have finally heard those magic words: “Gee, we’ve never seen a problem like this before.”
Most of the Charter people who have attempted to help have been very nice and patient and kind, including the guy who’s here now and is on his 4th hour and third router.
Oh wait… there are those magic words again: “I’ve never seen this problem before.”
If the Call Sheet is late tomorrow, it will be because I’m running amok.
KEVIN SMITH WILL DIRECT TWO HOCKEY MOVIES AND RETIRE
My guess is that Kevin Smith will retire like Stephen King retired — in other words, not at all. Talk of retirement is a cheap way to create sentiment, gin up interest in a current project (the last!), and maybe earn an accolade or two. And with his film career on the slide, Smith’s neurosis appear to be surfacing.
People who never get off the stage because they’re always on-stage assuring us they’re going to get off the stage are exhausting. Brett Favre Syndrome goes Hollywood.
LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING
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Tangled (2010): No world-shaker in the Disney animation department but the story is beautifully simple, the plot moves along, and the laughs are steady enough to hold your attention. The songs are even not-bad.
Overall, a much better film than I expected. Perfect for kids — if you don’t mind them buying into the whole anti-American monarchy thing. I kid, I kid.
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TODAY’S QUICK HITS
GREAT IDEA: NETFLIX ADDS “JUST FOR KIDS” FEATURE
17 FILM FRANCHISES THAT COMMITTED SUICIDE WITH BAD IDEAS
DEPP’S LONE RANGER MOVIE HAD WEREWOLVES IN IT?
“AMERICAN PIE: REUNION” POSTER
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CLASSIC PICK FOR WEDNESDAY AUGUST 17, 2011
TCM:
4:30pm EST: They Drive by Night (1940) — Truck driving brothers are framed for murder by a lady psycho. Dir: Raoul Walsh Cast: George Raft, Ann Sheridan, Ida Lupino. BW-95 mins, TV-PG, CC.
Melodrama is usually a description used to criticize a film but that’s only because Hollywood can no longer craft a decent melodrama. When melodrama works it makes for an extremely satisfying story with lots of plot twists and complicated human emotions and even more complicated relationships.
Humphrey Bogart co-stars, but “They Drive By Night” is really George Raft’s movie. He plays an independent-minded truck driver snagged in the web of a gorgeous but deadly black widow. On paper, the story would sound ridiculous, but the test is in the watching and this is as watchable as they come.
–Please send tips/suggestions/requests to jnolte@breitbart.com