Bin Laden Was Looking to Recruit America's 'Oppressed'

So according to files found in the raid, bin Laden wanted to recruit non-Muslims from the U-S.

Officials discovered messages pushing followers to recruit African Americans and Latinos – obviously stealing the idea from Moveon.org. So, why blacks and Latinos? Well, bin Laden recognized them as “oppressed in the United States.”

And here we have another example of how bin Laden was no different than your typical tenured professor, or that chick who gave me head lice in college.

Let’s face it, anyone who believes there’s oppression in the United States is either an angry militant, or a fat bald guy who still wears “Rage Against the Machine” t-shirts.

Basically, it’s the default premise for tools trying to fake an intellect they do not possess.

But you’ve got to forgive bin Laden for thinking this way.. After all, it’s an assumption also shared by elitists the world over.

Yep: the concept of oppression in America is alive and kicking in the freest country ever – because bitter news editors, dimwitted hip hop artists and vacuous pop stars keep the lie alive.

The fact is, there is no line to get out of the United States, only a line to get in.

And no one waits in line to get oppressed… unless of course it involves a large woman in leather, brandishing an electric paddle.

Perhaps that was the real frustration of bin laden, and the like-minded intellectuals who agreed with him. That no matter how much you hate the U-S, there’s just so much more to love.

So I say to the terrorists: good luck recruiting among “our oppressed,” because even the unhappiest among them have a really good time.

And if you disagree with me, you sir are worse than Hitler.

Tonight:

Brooke Goldstein!

Regie Hamm!

Jesse Joyce!

good group!