Now, I don’t know much about Herman Cain. But last week, I read up on him and found out three things.
He was once the CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, a delightful product I often devoured while watching reruns of the Golden Girls from my bunk bed in the closet. The second thing is, he’s a conservative. He spoke at CPAC the other day, and wowed the audience without ever having to toss flour in the air.
The third thing is, he’s black.
I know, crazy.
Well, there are some people who have a problem with his skin color. And surprise: they’re liberals. Someone who calls himself “Chauncey deVega” wrote this at AlterNet, a liberal blog of some sort:
It is only fitting that in the great tradition of the freak show, the human zoo, the boardwalk, and the ‘great midway worlds fairs of the 19th and 20th centuries, that there is a Borneo man,a Venus Hottentot or a tribe of cannibals from deepest darkest Africa or Papua New Guinea on display. For CPAC and the White Conservative imagination, Herman Cain and his black and brown kin are that featured attraction. We always need a monkey in the window, for he/she reminds us of our humanity while simultaneously reinforcing a sense of our own superiority.
You know, my instinct is to ignore this racist crap, for I assume this cowardly creep really only likes black people if they submit to his views.
My second instinct is to point out that the myth about blacks not being conservative is undermined by surveys revealing high religiosity and strong moral principle. But Chauncey would just call those people monkeys too.
My final instinct is simply to report this on Red Eye, so we are reminded that a dirtbag like Chauncey exists – an anonymous, lowly figure who calls a brave, smart black man a “monkey” from the luxury of a veiled cubby hole in a low-rent condo.
You know he’d never do that to Cain in person. If he did, Cain would pound him into pizza.
And if you disagree with me, you sir are a racist homophobe.
Lauren Sivan
Paul Mecurio
Kevin Williamson
Also, here’s the Imus link from this morning.