I Still Love Barbara Streisand, Please Forgive Me

This week Barabra Streisand emerged from her self -imposed seclusion to grace Larry King and his viewers with her presence on the TV host’s penultimate broadcast. As the Los Angeles Times put it, the “interview” resembled more of an infomercial for the product that is Barbra Streisand.

In segment after segment Barbra talked about Barbra. Barbra talked about Obama. Barbra talked about Barbra. Barbra talked about Clinton. And Barbra talked about Barbra.

Larry King dutifully congratulated her on all of her observations.

Here’s one my favorite moments: When Larry King asked her about the first two years of Barack Obama’s Presidency she laments that President Obama did not use his “executive powers” to unilaterally repeal DADT. Then, pricelessly, without any sense of self awareness she goes on to praise President Bill Clinton as one of our greatest Presidents. It would have been at this moment that an actual journalist would have pointed out to Ms. Streisand that President Clinton was the “great” President that instituted the DADT policy that she now wants President Obama to unconstitutionally and unilaterally revoke. Instead, Mr. King appeared to sit back and admire the beautiful lighting that Ms. Streisand probably supervised prior to the tape rolling.

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Earlier in the interview, Ms. Streisand reveals that she is glad that Hilary Clinton did not become the first female President because “they” would have blamed her gender for the economic trouble our country is in. Thanks to Mr. King, we don’t know who “they” are. But I suspect Ms. Streisand meant men, revealing her very low estimation of the reasoning skills of those of us inflicted with both an X and Y chromosome.

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She came across as narcissistic, judgmental, sanctimonious, and dismissive of anyone who does not subscribe to her point of view. And, God help me, I loved her.

Maybe it’s because I’m a “theatre-guy.” Maybe it’s because I spent so many years on Broadway. But no matter how many times Barbra Streisand lets me know that I, as a conservative, represent what’s wrong with this country, I still can’t help having the secret desire to see her return to Broadway as the ultimate Mama Rose in a blockbuster revival of Gypsy. I suspect that some time during my first year working on Broadway I was drugged and dragged into a dark room and implanted with a device that alters the part of my brain that would see Barbra Streisand for what she is: an egotistical blowhard who has consistently snubbed Broadway – the place that made her a star – for lo these many decades.

Barbra Streisand is included in what is known as the Broadway diva Mt. Rushmore. She, Ethel Merman, and Mary Martin inhabit 3/4 of that sacred monument. The 4th face is bit of a revolving door which changes depending upon the times. Over the past few decades Liza Minnelli, Bernadette Peters, Patti LuPone, and recently Kristin Chenowith have all occupied the “Ringo” chair. I can make a strong case for all of these women as icons of the American stage except, curiously, Barbra Streisand.

When Hollywood called four decades ago Ms. Streisand took her last curtain call and never looked back. Many Broadway stars before her and since have found fame and fortune on the silver screen and yet still come back to Broadway even if for a limited engagement to pay respect to the industry that made them a star. Not to mention the economic benefit it provides the stagehands, the ushers, the restaurant and hotel workers in the theater district. But not Babs.

Even when she famously returned to live performances in her multi-million dollar string of “final” concerts (How many have there been now, 20?) she refused to play the 2,000 seat theatrical cathedrals in New York opting instead for arenas built for boxing matches.

And yet, knowing the disdain she’s shown for my industry, my colleagues and I still look upon her with reverence, respect and admiration. I kid you not, as bitchy as Broadway is, there are a handful of people you’re just not allowed to criticize and Streisand is one of them.

So here I sit, my good conservative brain telling me all the reasons why I should hate Barbra Streisand, after all, she seems to hate me, my friends, and my industry. And yet, I can’t stop hoping that one day she’ll see the light and let me produce her return to Broadway complete with an opening night gala fundraiser for the Tea Party Patriots.

I know. I need an intervention.