So Tom Krattenmaker wrote a piece this week for USA Today, about Portland, Oregon being targeted by a Muslim terrorist. This gist: How could they bomb Portland! We’re just a quirky place everyone loves!
Or at least, doesn’t take seriously.
After the cliched warning to not rush to judgement, Tommy says, and I quote:
Why would Portland, of all places, be the site of a terror attack? The “People’s Republic of Portland” – so dubbed for its liberal ways – seems so utterly different from New York, Mumbai, London, or the other places that one associates with terrorist attacks. Portland is so much smaller, light years from the figurative front lines.This is a laid-back city where the red-hot rhetoric around terrorism, Islam, the “ground zero mosque,” and the like runs cooler.
So, because Portland’s a leftwing haven with homemade fliers for guitar lessons stapled on every Peet’s Coffee wall – terrorists should skip us, and focus only on the big, boring cities without all those great organic cafes. Heck, they probably don’t use cloth bags or read Chomsky (stuff jihadists care about).
And since Portlanders find red meat topics like terrorism so unseemly – our enemies should totally dig us! We love Bill Moyers!
Damn, these folks are dumb. They think their behavior is at the root of other people’s actions. And that, if you’re nice, terrorists won’t kill you.
These jacknuts don’t get that no matter how liberal you are, you represent everything terrorists hate, and your touchy-feeliness only makes them hate your sogginess more. Your clogs don’t help.
Trust me – terrorists have more respect for the “red-hot rhetoric” of Dick Cheney than a naval gazing goof like Tom. And closing your eyes to Islamic jihad, in favor of contemplating the dent in your consciousness is why the terrorists may come for you first.
Because you’re annoying.
Pat Caddell
Jill Dobson
Kinsey Schofield
my mom