When I found out that Muzak was going bankrupt on February 11th, 2009, I cried myself to sleep at least four times that day. Who, besides satellite and terrestrial radio, would provide soft background music in public places for me? Who would calm my soul when faced with the incompetence and laziness of DMV workers? Who would pay for my health insurance so I wouldn’t have to pay for it myself?
These questions and more troubled my soul until August 7, 2010 AD, when Sheryl Crow released her long-awaited 13th album 100 Miles to Memphis. After over a decade of records peaking at #2 and #3 on the Billboard 200, Crow decided to completely revolutionize her sound by taking on the styles of R&B, funk, and even reggae. Without their tawdry expressiveness, and without the divisive spirituality so inherent to the southern gospel style injected into a few tracks, Memphis is a Muzak masterpiece. It is so perfectly pleasant and unobtrusive, it seemed highly inappropriate to give it a critical listen and analyze its minutiae. But, in my duty to Big Hollywood readers, I’ve taken on the Sisyphean task of codifying the greatness of these songs, even though their value is so obviously apparent.
1. Economy is for suckers. Not one of the twelve tracks on the album is under four minutes, and for good reason. Ms. Crow understands the helpfulness of extending the fast-paced opener “Our Love is Fading” from what could be a comfortable 2 minutes to nearly 6 . When I’m sitting in the urologist’s office waiting for my name to be called, I don’t want to grasp just how slowly the quack is getting to me. As long as the same song is playing from when I last took notice, I don’t feel like I’ve been waiting as long. It’s as skillful a utilization of the medium as I’ve ever heard.
2. Dynamics are distracting. If I were to hop onto an elevator in the middle of the song “Eye to Eye” (which I’m told features Keith Richards) and hopped out two floors later, I wouldn’t have any regrets missing the remaining five minutes of the song. I’d be satiated by both of its hooks already!
3. 48 is the new 20. Nothing says “youth” like the video for Memphis‘s first single, “Summer Day.” Between surrounding herself with young, virile men and sporting a completely natural-looking tan, Ms. Crow reassures us that you don’t need to act your age to make it as a veteran in the music industry.
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4. Sheryl, Sheryl, Sheryl. If you love the woman, you will get your fill and then some. Every song, her voice is first and foremost in the mix, its signature breathy and nasal timbre crowding out less interesting elements like drums, bass, and horns (that last one is especially great if you prefer the saxophone sound of Kenny G to that of groups like Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings with their aggressive–nay, threatening! feel). However, Sheryl does know how to share the spotlight. On “Sign Your Name,” if you listen very, very closely to the background vocals, you will notice that the singer is in fact pop superstar Justin Timberlake (kinda–I had to see it in the liner notes, but still).
5. I hate Sarah Palin too! On the controversial “Say What You Want,” Ms. Crow crystallizes the feelings of an entire generation with her righteous anger at Sarah Palin using the word “reload” to rally opponents of the health care bill. Obviously, Mrs. Palin was talking about shooting the President, since she had already told everyone to shoot at him once, and everyone in the Tea Party was too stupid to think that they should reload their guns before shooting at him again! Through the song, Sheryl really takes Palin to task, saying “You’ve got a lot of nerve to talk that way.” Brilliantly, she then moves on to suggest unplugging Palin’s microphone so that President Obama will not be obstructed from achieving real Change. “If this is America you’d never know it” crows Crow, which really hits the nail on the head. America has been historically defined by one class’s compulsory labor propping up the lifestyle of those who don’t work, so in these troubled times, with all the dissent and resistance to this founding principle, I often find myself wondering if I’m really in Fascist Italy when I wake up each morning. It’s a magnificent song that shows that Sheryl Crow is really in touch with the majority of us plain American folks.
6. MJ Tribute to the Max! Everything great about 100 Miles to Memphis is summed up in the album’s final track, a cover of the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back.” This track gives us a glimpse into just how much effort Ms. Crow and her audio engineers put into making her singing voice sound like an adult’s. Freed from her rigorous nostril resonance and heavy compressor/limiters, there are times you can barely tell whether it’s preteen Michael Jackson or the 48-year-old Sheryl. Obviously, you can tell when she fails to hit the high notes as he did, but I believe this artistic choice is really Ms. Crow sending the message that as an empowered single white adoptive female mother, she doesn’t have to meet the expectations of male oppressors. The real strength of Crow’s version of “I Want You Back” is the more mechanically precise, neatly mixed instrumentation. It really removes the freewheeling, loose style that gave the original its disconcertingly ethnic feel.
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So, if you love not having to actually listen and pay attention to your music, then 100 Miles to Memphis is the album for you. If you could get it back above Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam, the Eat Pray Love soundtrack, and Kidz Bop 18 on the Billboard 200 chart, I’m sure Ms. Crow would appreciate it almost as much as Muzak appreciates her bringing them back into the black.