Hollywood to Nashville & Gulf: Drop Dead!

So what gives? Are these areas just not glamorous enough? Do celebs not want to further highlight The One’s pathetic response?

Celebrities love causes. They love them for a couple of reasons: one, it makes them seem like “serious” people despite making a non-serious living as entertainers – or, as in the case of “professional reality show stars,” making a living by leeching off the system. Two, it’s free publicity. After all, you aren’t a celebrity if you aren’t being “celebrated” by an adoring public.

As such, celebrities often embrace “feel good causes” that enhance their PR value and their egos. Take “green living,” for instance. Why all the Hollywood hooh hah about carbon footprints and other such nonsense? Christopher Grey of WND has a theory:

Celebrities want attention, but they also want credibility because they typically don’t have any. Environmentalism is an easy cause for them to promote to get attention and at the same time appear somehow thoughtful and even educated because it is allegedly based on science. Of course none of this has anything do with reality, but this is the entertainment business. Reality is not important at all. Image is everything. Talking about recycling, stopping offshore drilling, solar power, and electric cars is a lot easier than really trying to do something for people in the world like feeding the hungry, helping abused children, or building houses for the homeless.

It also deflects attention from the obvious fact that celebrities are often some of the most wasteful, energy inefficient, materialistic, shallow, and superficial people in our society. A classic recent example was James Cameron, who talked about how his film, Avatar, was a shining example of environmentalism. Obama echoed this praise. This was the most expensive movie ever made about a war on an alien planet. What exactly about this movie helped to conserve resources or save our planet? The answer is absolutely nothing.

But like it or not, the celebrity cause is here to stay. And even easier than “green living” or adopting poor little Third World children is fund raising via live concert or telethon. Not only does it give them a chance to show how much they care about others, but gets them lots of face time and a chance to show off their talents. Sure, they could donate more of their own money than the average viewer, but that wouldn’t get them featured in all the celebrity rags you see at the supermarket checkout.

In recent years, there was a telethon to raise funds for those displaced by Hurricane Katrina, as well as a telethon and even an auction of celebrity clothing for the tsunami victims in Sri Lanka in 2004. Then there was a telethon to raise funds for the people of Haiti after the devastating earthquake in that island nation. Some celebrities even braved dangerous travel conditions and difficulty in keeping one’s hair and makeup intact by traveling to New Orleans and Haiti to help.

Sean Penn bails out in New Orleans; Angelina Jolie visits a Haitian child

So the obvious question is: When can we expect a telethon for the good people of Nashville? Back in early May, a weekend storm with record-breaking amounts of rain flooded parts of Tennessee, Mississippi and Kentucky, killing nearly 30 people in the region and submerging private homes, businesses, as well as the landmark Grand Ole Opryhouse and the Opryland Hotel. Hundreds of people had to be rescued by boat, as the flooding took the population by surprise. The damages in Nashville alone are expected to top $1 billion.

But aside from a number of country music stars stepping up to do their part (Nashville is the heart of country music, after all), there was nary a peep from Leftwing Celebrityville. Were these normally civic-minded entertainers taking a cue from the Community Organizer in Chief, who has said next to nothing publicly about this devastating natural disaster? Last time I checked, bitter clingers not only vote, but buy movie tickets, concert tickets and watch television – and lest we forget, they are people too.

Sheryl Crow and Laurie David rode a bus around the country to “save the planet.”

Speaking of bitter clingers dealing with natural disasters, what about Louisiana (and her neighbors)? Oil is now blanketing the coastline and shrimpers, fishermen and tourist destinations are feeling the economic pinch. When Hurricane Katrina hit, the stars were quick to donate precious face time raising funds, but that was then, this is now. Back in 2005, the dreaded George W. Bush was president and Louisiana had a Democrat in the governor’s mansion. Today Obama is in the White House and Republican governor Bobby Jindal has been pulling his hair out trying to get federal approval to build sandbars to keep the oil at bay. Coincidence? Perhaps. Yet one must wonder why this disaster, which has been in the news for weeks, hasn’t been publicly discussed by more than a few celebs:

• Ashton Kutcher took the opportunity to blame the spill on Republicans: “If you could go back to the Republican National Convention and look the guys in the eyes that were saying, ‘DRILL, DRILL, DRILL,’ at the Republican National Convention, those guys, there you go… that’s what we got, like, we did it, we drilled drilled drilled.” Good thing for Ashton, considering the monster truck he owns gets a mere 7 miles per gallon for its 70 gallon tank. But after conceding that his comment might have been a “low blow,” he continued: “But at the end of the day the truth is, is like, we got to think about the world we live in. I mean we have to be conscious. This is like not a right, it’s a privilege to be on this land and using its resources and we have to be smart about it.” Um, right. Demi Moore obviously married him for his high IQ and scintillating conversation.
• Bill Maher cracked unfunny jokes that said more about his closet racism than they did about the situation.
• James Cameron kvetched because BP turned down his offer to help them stop the leak. Being a movie director who makes films about the evil of mankind’s thirst for energy and an underwater filming expert somehow also makes him an expert on how to deal with an oil spill in the Gulf. Note to James: Just because the dingleberries at the EPA think you’re qualified to brainstorm about solutions doesn’t mean the people who actually have to do the work will think you’re qualified to do bupkus. I think there should be a new Academy Award division for Biggest Ego – Cameron’s a cinch to win.
• Ted Danson declared, “No more ocean drilling.” Okay, Ted, your word is law.
• Leonardo DiCaprio posted on Facebook that he has taken the “Save My Oceans” pledge – whatever that means. All snarkiness aside, I confess to being a bit worried about Leo, taking on such a challenge. I hope he’s eating properly, getting enough rest and taking vitamins to offset the strain.

Leonardo DiCaprio “saves” the oceans on Facebook. Whatta guy!

True kudos go to Kevin Costner, who has actually funded a team of scientists for the past 15 years, and who came up with a powerful centrifuge that they hope will clean up the mess. BP has agreed to give it a whirl. And a thumbs up can go to Spike Lee, who actually begged the president to drop his glacially cool demeanor and “go off” just one time. There was a fundraising effort, but it lacked A-list heft and only took in $350,000, although former Dallas star Victoria Principal donated $200,000 of her own money to the clean up efforts. When AOL and CNN actually notice, something’s amiss in Hollywood.

So what gives? Are these areas just not glamorous enough? Do celebs not want to further highlight The One’s pathetic response? Do they actually feel like hypocrites for their “live green” mantra while they live an oil-guzzling lifestyle? Or is it, as the AOL article linked above notes, because “award season isn’t for another nine months”? Feel free to expand upon these theories, or offer your own, in the comments section.

Whatever the reason, the American public is taking notice that the stars aren’t shining quite as brightly as they used to.