You know what I do when I’m confused about an issue?
I turn to Ashton Kutcher. And whatever he says – the opposite is true.
(see :53 – 1:10)
Leave it to Ashton to use catastrophe as a club to beat Republicans with – although the last time I checked Obama favors drilling – and most of America agrees. Except of course those shallow, stupid celebs who think their private jets fly on pixie farts.
But hey, if it hadn’t been for greenies, this whole mess might have occured in shallow water, and it’d be fixed. But maybe there are rare snails there that require space for Pilates.
At any rate, buyer’s remorse is now flooding the airwaves faster than oil from that busted rig: On CNN, director Spike Lee cries, “If there’s any one time to go off, this is it, because this is a disaster.”
And of course, there’s Gloria Borger, who frets that who we elected, is exactly what we expected.
The media types who went on and on about how cool Obama is, now realize why he’s so cool. It’s exactly the same breeze you get from an air conditioner. It temporarily relieves the heat, but does nothing about the weather.
And so what we thought was contemplation might in fact be fear; restraint actually wimpiness. As crisis after crisis unfolds, from Iran, to North Korea, to the Gulf of Mexico, to Gaza – there is only one mantra: “Maybe this will all go away.”
Maybe so. But each mess reveals a simple truth about 2008. The libs wanted a Hollywood president, and got one. But here’s the difference: in flicks emoting solves problems. In real life, it worsens them.
And now, like the dolts they are, O lovers want a different O – one that will, as Bill Maher fantasized, pull a gun on BP.
Which doesn’t work. Fact is, the desire to have Obama heroically shout at an oil spill fits on screen, in real life it’s about as successful as Girl 6.
Even Obama knows that. If only his fans might get a clue.
And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe oil executive.