Why Are We Keeping Up With the Kardashians?

The first time I ever heard of the name Kardashian was in June of 1994 after the famous O.J. car chase. Robert Kardashian publicly read a letter written by O.J., which sparked off the beginning of one of the biggest media circus’ in American history. Kardashian became part of the “dream team” that allowed O.J. to walk free, although in Al Capone style, eventually end up in jail for a crime completely unrelated to the murders he committed. What I distinctly remember was that Kardashian was the man seen carrying Simpson’s garment bag the day Simpson flew back from Chicago. It was speculated that the bag may have contained Simpson’s bloody clothes and/or the murder weapon; however, by the time the bag was returned to the prosecutors, mysteriously, there was nothing incriminating.

A few years ago the Kardashian name cropped up again (Robert had passed in 2003). However, this time, the spotlight was on one of his four children, Kim, an attractive, petite, Armenian looking woman, who was part of the Hilton sisters’ crowd. The next thing I know there is a show on E! about the whole clan which includes Kim, her sisters Khloe and Kourtney, her brother Robert Jr. and her half-sisters who are in their early teens, Kylie and Kendall. The parents, and I use the term loosely, are Kris Jenner, who divorced Robert Sr. in 1989, and Bruce Jenner, a gold medal Olympic winner and an integral part of American sports history. Does this sound even remotely interesting? Well, if you said “no,” you are probably in the majority. However, if you said “yes,” you are in luck because they are on their fourth show in two years.

To summarize the lives of these people, the older girls own a few clothing stores in LA and Miami, although other than holding up some tops and cooing over how cute they are, I have never seen them engage in an actual transaction, though they did reprimand an employee for coming in late once. They also get paid for appearances (they call this “work”), put their names on perfumes that they have professed to have mixed in the lab themselves like Madam Curie, and eat out a lot. Mother Kris is the manager of these girls and tries to farm them out like Lynne Spears and Dina Lohan combined. She refers to lunch at the Ivy as “meetings.” They all speak in monotone voices and often use the words “like,” “issue,” and “stuff”. What I do find admirable is that when they are faced with any romantic crisis, they stay in bed for one whole day, but lo and behold, by the next day they are all primped and ready to go declaring that they are “over it and have moved on.” Now, that, needs to be bottled and sold to women across America.

One of the saddest parts of the show is Bruce Jenner. His post-athlete occupation is that of a motivational speaker and he has been seen coming home with a briefcase. In one perplexing episode he asks Kris for money, complaining that she doesn’t even give him enough of an allowance to buy his morning coffee. What was even stranger was that there was a shiny red Keurig coffee maker right in back of him as he was begging like a homeless person.

The way the older girls speak to their mother is a bit disturbing. I am sure when your mother is your manager there is a different dynamic to the relationship, but at times it seems a little over the line. Khloe likes to push her Mother’s buttons by talking to her using foul — and I mean foul – language. Or, if they’re annoyed with her, they ignore her phone calls when she has been trying to get in touch with them to book their next gig. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

As far as the two teenage girls Kyle and Kendall, it does not look like a great environment for these young ladies since there is no filter as to what they hear and see. In another episode, Kris had been putting herbal Viagra into Bruce’s coffee (she made it in the Keurig) which could have easily have knocked off Bruce for good, but instead had them locked up in their bedroom every morning. The younger ones were clearly aware that their parents were not gathering their tax documentation and patiently waited for them to emerge so they could start their day. Time will tell on that one.

Then there are the personal lives of the older girls. Kim has been in an on-again/off-again relationship with Reggie Bush of the New Orleans Saints, which seems to be on-again just like her daily manicures and shipments of free Prada pocketbooks. Kourtney is known for having gotten pregnant with her ex-boyfriend Scott, they are trying to make a go of their relationship but I think they need to start by finding out what this guy; who wears his Ralph Lauren sweaters tied around his shoulders preppy-style, does for a living. Khloe was on every magazine cover this past fall for her wedding to Lamar Odom of the L.A. Lakers, who she had known for five weeks prior to their wedding day. I must say by all accounts, Lamar seems like a stand-up guy, but Khloe honey, please, stop saying you are going to spend the rest of your life with him–that’s the Hollywood kiss of death.

Overall this is not a show based on any kind of morality; it’s more about living in the moment and dealing with the consequences at another time. They say they are like any other family which is true, if you believe in reality shows and unicorns.