If you’re like me, and congratulations if you are, then you try to enjoy your weekends. For example, I spent last Saturday in bed, watching my favorite soaps, eating donut holes basted in Nyquil. I call them happy holes – after seven of them, you think you’re an Angoran rabbit.
And this leads me to a key life lesson: Nyquil rules. But also: you know you’ve truly succeeded in life when your adversaries aren’t having fun on their weekends. When someone who hates you spends their Saturdays consumed by hating you, then you can safely say, you’ve won – without even raising a finger.
I mention this because I received a press release, on Saturday…yes, on Saturday…from none other than Media Matters. Yep. Instead of playing t-ball with their kids (or their ferrets dressed as kids), this outlet of internal misery just had to publish a press release about Fox News’s coverage of Haiti. Yep, while everyone else tries to do actual stuff – Media Matters is still using the earthquake to hammer its number-one enemy/one true love.
The press release came to me on my Blackberry, and it filled me with sadness. I wanted to invite Media Matters over for paninis. I’d just won a grill in a raffle, and have been dying to try it out (on food, this time).
But instead, here’s some advice, double M: the weekends are for your family, your hobbies, your festering addiction to prescription meds. It’s not for obsessing over adversaries.
And you should notice a trend by now: the more you whine, the higher Fox News climbs.
I can’t imagine how lonely you must be right now. But I bet robot theater can.
(Roll Robot Theater!)