Someone call the waaahmbulance: Megan Fox’s starring turn in the movie “Jennifer’s Body” didn’t do as well as she’d hoped and she’s looking for a scapegoat. Naturally, she turns to the unwashed masses in Middle America:

The actress tells The New York Times that her movie “Jennifer’s Body” tanked because “the movie is about a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader, and that pretty much eliminates middle America.”

Actually, Megan, that pretty much eliminates anyone with an ounce of taste. Here’s more on the movie’s plot via IMDB:

Nerdy, reserved bookworm Needy and arrogant, conceited cheerleader Jennifer are best friends, though they share little in common. They share even less in common when Jennifer mysteriously gains an appetite for human blood after a disastrous fire at a local bar. As Needy’s male classmates are steadily killed off in gruesome attacks, the young girl must uncover the truth behind her friend’s transformation and find a way to stop the bloodthirsty rampage before it reaches her own boyfriend Chip.




Oh my stars! This has Oscar and Golden Globe written all over it, and Middle American schlubs who shop at Walmart and enjoy a night out at Applebee’s couldn’t appreciate the delicate nuances of a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader? Well, that’s the hoi polloi for you.

A decent movie must have meat. Unfortunately in this one, it looks like Megan Fox ate it all.

I guess it didn’t occur to Megan, though, that gratuitously badmouthing many of the people who make your career possible isn’t exactly the best way to win fans apart from hormonally-charged young men. Here’s what she said about those same losers back in June, whilst Americans were breathlessly awaiting the cinematic triumph that rivaled “Gone with the Wind” called “Transformers 2”:

When asked how she would stop the ruthless Megatron from demolishing the world, Fox first said that she would “barter with him.” She then, however, went on to say, “… and instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”

Yep, there’s nothing like talking smack about a large portion of the movie-going audience, who work hard for the money that goes toward those $10 movie tickets. Remember, “artists” like Megan exist on a much higher plane than you and me, so they don’t have to worry about things like getting “value for your money” and can therefore spend a lot of time belittling the social mores of the very communities from whence most of them came. Burn those bridges, baby!

She must not brag too much about being born and raised in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. Sounds a bit too “down home,” if you know what I mean. The poor dear attended a Christian high school and at the ripe old age of 15 was not yet a feminist! Thankfully she escaped that horrible place and went to Hollywood, where being a celebrity means you can do anything you want as long as the words “moral” or “tasteful” aren’t attached to it.

In her rant about “Jennifer’s Body,” Fox also takes a swipe at all the jealous females out there:

And other women hate her because “women tear each other apart. Girls think I’m a slut, and I’ve been in the same relationship since I was 18. The problem is, if they think you’re attractive, you’re either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular.”

I agree that there is a tendency for women to “attack the jugular,” as Fox puts it, when they are feeling envious or threatened. (Sarah Palin might have a word or two to say about that.) However, an actress of Fox’s caliber can rest assured that most of the criticism leveled at her has less to do with her looks and more to do with her severe limitations as an actress. Meryl Streep she ain’t.

I wonder why she is worried about being labeled a slut, considering her own take on women in Hollywood:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You’ve only done a couple of movies, so you’re still mostly known as a sex symbol rather than an actress.

MEGAN FOX: It doesn’t bother me. I don’t know why someone would complain about that. That just means that the bar has been set pretty low. People don’t expect me to do anything that’s worth watching. So I can only be an overachiever. I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That’s what our purpose is in this business. You’re merchandised, you’re a product. You’re sold and it’s based on sex. But that’s okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded.



So if other women think you’re a slut, Megan, remember: you should feel empowered, not degraded or insulted, by the label.

Reviews on “Jennifer’s Body” linked over at Rotten Tomatoes were mixed. Here’s part of one that caught my eye:

Jennifer is dead-eyed and impassive, but a good actress might yet have played her in a lively, knowing way. Fox’s dead-eyed impassiveness seems all too much her own.

Sorry, Megan, that wasn’t written by a Middle American or a woman, but a Brit named Edward Porter. Will the inhabitants of the UK be next on your list of people to insult?

But what do I know? As a female who isn’t a particular fan, it’s obviously because I’m jealous of her fabulous body and big-time Hollywood career. I must be one of those know-nothing Middle Americans.

See you at Applebee’s.