Why Wasn't I Invited to the NEA Conference Call?

This whole flap over at the NEA has a lot of folks’ underwear in a bunch. Sure, the idea of the White House using the NEA as the “Hope and Change Department of Propaganda” is disturbing. But even more troubling is the fact that I didn’t get an invitation to the goddamn conference call!

And I quote: “It’s time for us as a group of artists, producers, promoters, organizers, influencers, marketers, tastemakers, leaders or just plain cool people to join together…”

I’m a producer and an artist. I’m even a leader at times. And anyone who’s ever had one of my patented kick-ass margaritas (SeizureRitas ) can attest to my tastemaking abilities! Just to prove my worth to the cause, I’d like to submit the below painting, an homage to German artist Hubert Lanzinger, I call “Obama, the Standard Bearer.”

During the call, of course, Yosi Sergant includes himself in the mix, as is evident when he opens with “It’s time for us.” Because Yosi must be one of us, right? Let’s see…

According to his bio in Wikipedia, Yosi got his degree in World Arts and Culture from UCLA. I guess that makes him an arts aficionado, if not an actual artist. He’s worked in “marketing, public relations, brand management and business development for over 10 years.” So I guess that places him in the “promoter/organizer” class.

Oh, but wait! According his entry in IMDB, he’s a producer, too! He’s responsible for that incredible film, “Bacon Wagon.” Haven’t heard of it? Well, according to the one user comment, “Bacon Wagon” rates a robust ten stars. And I quote:

“We could all learn a thing or two from The Bacon Wagon Man. This movie was filled with fabulous dark comedy and great production design. He’s got a live pig–I believe his name is Wiggles.”

And just who wrote this glowing review? I can’t be sure, but that breathless style is almost as good as a fingerprint. Could it be that Yosi is a film critic as well as a P.R. flack?

Why… that would make him a “tastemaker.”

Still, my Wikipedia entry is about twice as long as Yosi’s. Plus, his IMDB credits are a veritable pimple on the ass of my IMDB credits. So why, Yosi? Why no invitation for Big X?

I guess I’m not “just plain cool” enough.