Stand Up Notes from Flyover Country: Snake on a Plane!

I don’t want to seem too preoccupied with the past. I don’t want to dwell on old wrongs. I know we have all moved into the age of Obama where we will all cooperate, have bipartisan government and hold hands with Islamic terrorists, (I’m sorry, I meant to say with Islamic manufacturers of man-made disasters) — and the past is forgiven. Unless your name is Bush or Chaney, in which case you need to be made to pay for screwing up the reputation for weakness and capitulation Bill Clinton took eight long years to build.

Which brings me to my subject; did anyone besides me see the irony in sending Bill Clinton, perhaps the most famous serial philanderer of the past two centuries, to pick up two hot Asian girls in North Korea? Was it the ultimate in Asian carry out!

How did that go down? Was Bill sitting in his Laze-E-Boy while Hillary was talking on the phone to the North Koreans? She hangs up and says, “I got the release all worked out. Now ,if I could just find someone who wouldn’t mind sitting on a private jet for twelve hours with two hot Asian women.” Before you can say Paula Flowers, Bill is on his way to the airport with a blue suit and a bottle of Viagra.

Did the women know the ride home was going to be with the biggest snake of them all on the plane? I wonder how the North Koreans broke the news. “Listen ladies, you can go home with Bill Clinton or stay here for ten years of hard labor.” They look at each other and say, “How many years was that?”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for Ms. Laura Ling and Ms. Euna Lee. There are some questions that need to be answered: Why were two of Al Gore’s employees hanging on the China/North Korea border? Why didn’t Big Al hop on one of his carbon-neutral personal jets and go pick up these two women? What were they doing there to begin with? Did the Chinese government know they were there? What did we give the North Koreans for the release of these two women?

Call me cynical but I don’t think a few pictures with Bill Clinton and some carbon credits from Al Gore would do the trick. Once again the Obama administration has shown that it’s business as usual in Washington where the same old people get all the good gigs.