Did You Hear the One About President Obama?

You know, people, it’s a damn shame. I remember when great comedians like Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce held nothing sacred. I know I don’t. And so many comedians, especially late-nighters, are really missing the boat with President Obama. There’s a wealth of material just waiting to be tapped, and I’m really not looking forward to four more years of lame Bush and Palin jokes. Are you?

All it takes is one person to break the ice. Example. Twenty years ago, my brother won tickets to a Journey concert in Worcester, Massachusetts on the radio. We rode a packed WBCN Party Bus out of Boston, but everyone was kind of uptight and kept to themselves, like there were cops in the crowd. So I took a risk and lit up a big fattie anyway. Within minutes, it was like a Cheech and Chong movie. You couldn’t see out the windows. Everyone was laughing, joking, hacking and toking.

So, at the risk of stinking up the joint again, but with the possible reward of jovial comradery and a few laughs, looks like I’ll have to be the first one to light up. The only real question is, will this be the torching that finally gets me arrested?

So be it. Great reward often involves great risk. To be fair, Jimmy Kimmel went to a black barbershop to ask black people what subjects for humor were taboo or not. Very funny stuff. As for me, I’m gonna live a little more dangerously, like Pryor and Bruce. Here goes my comedy career!

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“Did you hear President Obama had to cancel his press conference today? Got his halo stuck in a TelePrompTer!”

“President Obama said he’s unlike all those other presidents we’ve ever had, and he’s right. What other president in American history could fit in at both an NAACP dinner and a KKK rally?”

“Did you hear Newsweek editor Evan Thomas said Obama was like God? In related news, the American Medical Association recommended that journalists covering the President should see their doctors for regular prostrate exams.”

“The Obamas held their first open-to-the-public Easter Egg Hunt today. Thirty thousand guests hid their wallets around the White House grounds for Timothy Geithner to find!”

“In related news, the Obama Administration seized millions of dollars from the accounts of online poker players. Strangely enough, they were all corporate executives who canceled junkets to Vegas on the President’s recommendation. Just goes to show, the house always wins!”

“First Lady Michelle Obama was seen walking around London today wearing a stuffed orange snake around her waist. In related news, former GM Chairman Rick Wagoner was spotted walking around Detroit wearing his ass for a hat.”

“Jimmy Carter was honored by the Palestinians today for his support in helping them toward independence. In this Fourth of July spirit, Hamas revelers set off fireworks on Israel.” (I know that wasn’t about Obama. Just mixing it up, like a good sit-down comedian should. Besides, one Carter’s as good as another when it comes to comedy!)

“Well, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright is back in the news again. Said ‘them Jews’ won’t let him in to see Obama. Seems the Good Reverend is going to unusual lengths to get an audience with his former parishioner. He was last seen roosting like a chicken on the White House fence.”

“Former Obama associate William Ayers is back in the news. Seems he was barred from entering Canada over a forty-year old felony conviction. Fortunately, he was able to catch a ride back with Janet Napolitano, who was just barred from Canada for felony idiocy.”

“As you all know, the President promised to find new homes for the Chinese Uighur detainees at Gitmo. Four are now in Bermuda, and another thirteen will be soon be sent the island paradise of Palau. In related news, the Taliban and Al Qaeda reported a recent upsurge in recruits.”

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I tried to come up with Biden jokes. I really did. But the guy’s a Perfect Storm of Comedy. It’s like trying to make jokes about Curly Howard. How can you top perfection?

So there it is. The ice is broken, and possibly my clean criminal record as well. Oh well. Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true. By the way, if any of you have any great joke ideas, or know any great Obama jokes, please post them in the comments section. It’s not like anyone in Hollywood or the media is going to steal them and cash in on them. Have fun!