I’m far from a perfect father. For example, just the other day, on my watch, my one-year old, Ben, who is now rumblin’, bumblin’ and stumblin’ all over the house, took a dive on the corner of our entertainment center and gave himself a nice shiner. Within a few minutes, he’d forgotten about it and was wobbling around on two legs again, proud of his newly acquired mobility. But I felt bad for not catching him. I suppose the President, who made it a point on Saturday to pontificate to us dads about what kind of fathers we should be just ahead of Father’s Day, has never missed either of his daughters just before they got an “ouchie.” If neither Sasha nor Malia have ever scraped a knee, had a black eye, or even fractured a bone, then I guess he can pretend to be the perfect daddy. But then, you could also argue that without said minor injuries, the First Kids probably haven’t lived much of a life.
President Obama’s righteousness about fatherhood comes from the recognition that his own dad was, indeed, a douchebag. He knocked up Obama’s mom and quickly fled the country, only meeting his son once, and bringing him a basketball. There are fathers like that out there, but they’re few and far between. And they deserve our scorn. And I understand the President’s desire to talk about his own experience as a fatherless child. I get it. It must have been terrible and I’d probably talk about it too if my dad Bruce Wilson hadn’t been the incredible dad he is to this day (see my movie “Michael Moore Hates America” for an interview with Pops).
But on Father’s Day, I’d like to remind the President that his dad is an aberration. The vast majority of dads out there would kill and die for their kids. I certainly would. And the vast majority of divorced dads out there, like me, would never abandon their children. Instead, a government system has preyed upon loving, caring dads and made them nothing more than ATMs with limited, government-determined access to the people they love the most in the world–their children.
Fathers are systematically discriminated against in an unnecessary and perhaps unconstitutional family court system. The judge in a family court frequently decides who should have primary custody of a child with limited testimony, evidence and understanding of a given family. These judges are essentially determining which parent might be a better parent within a matter of moments, and in the process, changing the very foundation of relationships the “losing” parent has with the child. In the vast majority of cases, the mother wins custody and the father is required to pay for the honor of not being able to see his children. That fact should frighten you. Deeply.
Another fact that should scare you is that a steep majority of the Child “Welfare” workers, who make determinations about whether or not you’re a good parent, are women. There’s nothing wrong with that, I suppose. I mean, after all, the good and caring government, while it sticks its nose into the intimate workings of your family dynamic must be entirely un-flawed, unbiased and fair. They’d NEVER side with someone of their own gender for completely biased reasons. And since everyone who works for the government is a deeply compassionate and caring person who would never work at that job for the incredible pay and Cadillac benefits, we can rest assured.
But the fact remains, these glorified DMV workers are mostly women and they decide the future of your family. Shouldn’t there be some gender balance?
The other fact that should frighten you even more is that the Child Support System is rigged. There is actually a financial incentive for government to intrude on your personal business. When I got divorced, I was making some decent dough, and though my custody arrangement regarding my daughter was a shared arrangement, I agreed to pay my ex-wife a little child support to help her out. To this day we have the same bills and expenses, so there wasn’t a big reason to do that, other than that I wanted everything to be as amicable as possible.
I simply wrote my ex-wife a check every month and that was that. Until something or other came up and she got angry with me. She called the county to have them collect the payments to teach me a lesson (no, I was certainly NOT behind on my payments, but here in Minnesota, every recipient can CHOOSE to have the government collect the payments). And thus, the System got involved. YOUR tax dollars are now paying someone to collect and process a check I was writing for free.
Being someone with a disdain for government intrusion into my life, especially in the most sensitive, important part of my life, I had no choice but to find out how this could happen. It turns out that the more enforcement cases there are at the county level, the more money the states give the counties. The more cases the states are accounting for, the more money they get from the federal government. So the bigger and more “involved” in your life government can become, the more security there is for the long-term established government employees. And judges. And case workers. And social workers. And it’s enough to make a person insane, when you think about it. A malicious government machine can feed itself and make itself bigger, nastier, and more entrenched in your personal life. And there is NOTHING you can do to stop it. Try, and they’ll throw you in jail or prison WITHOUT CHARGE, where you’ll be BEATEN TO DEATH, like happened to Brian Armstrong, a father in New Hampshire who lost his job and couldn’t pay up.
The Family Court system should be abolished. There is no reason for its existence other than to feed itself and to destroy families–especially fathers. Every aspect the system handles could be handled by district, state and federal courts. You want a divorce settlement and custody arrangement? Come up with a mutually agreed upon contract or sue in district or state court. What if there’s abuse? Call 911 and the offending party is arrested and tried under criminal statutes. There’s a custody dispute? File a suit over your contract at the time of the divorce.
If the President wants men to be good fathers, then he ought to think about doing what he can to get government out of the way. Eliminate Family Courts and sexist judges. Put people on the bench who understand that most fathers would choose to be with their children every day, every moment if they could.
Maybe the President should let us act like the men we are and get government the hell out of the way. And if he refuses to let us be good fathers without Big Daddy Government poking its stupid, overbearing nose into our lives, the least he could do is quit making speeches about how we need to do a better job.
Happy Father’s Day, dads.
COMMENTS
Please let us know if you're having issues with commenting.