Dave, You're Fired

Dear Mr. Letterman,

Several weeks ago I wrote you a heartfelt letter expressing my concern for the direction that your show was headed. I am sad to see that you have not only not reined in the nastiness, but that your spin cycle is now on viciousness overload.

Mr. Letterman, this is not about your liberalism. I was a fan of yours for 20 years, and put politics aside as my fellow Republicans abandoned your show in droves. I defended you sir, and I am now being forced to eat my words.

How dare you attack Sarah Palin’s family the way you have! How dare you sir!

Yes, I know you apologized, but only after the heat was turned up. Governor Palin accepted your apology, and I will as well. Yet it doesn’t change the fact that for too long you have been taking too many cheap shots at people who don’t share your political ideology.

You have a child yourself, and if I remember correctly, one that was conceived out of wedlock. You were not attacked for this. You even gushed when Oprah sent you a fruit basket, but now you are using your nightly platform to destroy a family. What human being does this?

You and others on the left seem to think that because Sarah Palin is a social conservative, and social conservatives preach abstinence, that her apolitical unwed teenage daughter giving birth to a beautiful child renders the entire family hypocrites. That disgusting argument is for another day. The beautiful Palin family is just a fraction of your problem. Your major problem Mr. Letterman, is you. You are entering your later years. You are losing market share. All empires fall, and all talent leaves the screen. The issue is whether they walk off the field, or are dragged kicking and screaming. It was one thing to consistently lose in the ratings to Jay Leno. Losing to Conan O’Brien will make you ill.

Yes, we all know Johnny Carson wanted you to be his successor. I backed you. I was wrong. I thought you were funnier than Jay Leno, but you were not Tonight Show material. Johnny Carson was not mean. Jay Leno was pleasant and fair. In fact, the criticism of him was that he was “too nice.” He was so nice that he said nice things about you, which did not seem to be reciprocated. Again, I say this as someone who watched your show, not his. As Conan O’Brien continues the trend of lighthearted comedy, you just get older, meaner, angrier, and nastier. If this is a strategy, it will backfire.

You see Mr. Letterman, the angry left already has two people desperately playing to the “hip, cool” crowd that most Americans find obnoxious. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert already have your audience. While Stewart is going down the same hateful path that you are, Colbert at least makes an effort to try and be liberal without being hateful.

Dave, you were good way back when because you were fresh and original. Now it is the same thing every night, except more hostile. Sure, there are always people willing to watch angry hatemongers rant and rave like lunatics in an asylum. Yet you Dave are obsessed with ratings. Have you seen the ratings of Keith Olbermann?

You did a very funny joke back in the 1990s contrasting your vacation with Bill Clinton’s vacation.

“While on vacation, members of Bill Clinton’s staff criticized his job performance and demanded that he resign. While on vacation, members of my staff criticized my job performance and demanded that I resign.”

Dave, you might wish to prepare to receive that gold plated CBS watch or fountain pen. Johnny Carson walked off under his own power, his numbers softening but his dignity still intact. You might wish to consider the same. Dave, everybody knows that you still worship Johnny Carson. You idolize him. He was your hero. You have said this many times. Well Johnny would never approve of your telling x-rated jokes about sweet young girls that deserve the protection that all private citizens deserve.

I notice that you do not make fun of the trials and tribulations of the children of Al Gore and Joe Biden, which are significantly more serious than that of Bristol Palin. Bristol Palin has not committed any crimes or broken any laws. I know you are too old to be familiar with Pink Floyd, but Dave, “Leave those kids alone.”

Dave, this is about more than ideological bigotry, which I have dedicated my life to fighting and ending. This is about the only thing that really matters after we are all gone, that being history. Don’t even pretend for one second that you don’t spend every waking minute worrying about your legacy. You are tarnishing yourself at an accelerating rate. This will not be forgotten unless you redeem yourself, and fast. Half-hearted, non-apology apologies are not going to cut it. Sincerity would be a good start.

Maybe you truly do not care what people think, but if that is the case, your downward spiral will rival Rosie O’Donnell and every other leftist grievance monster that cannot understand why the audience does not love their spreading of hatred. I have done everything I can do Dave, because I genuinely did care. Dave, I have to tell you that after observing Mr. O’Brien, you are not cut out to be my 11:35pm apprentice. You are just too hateful.

Mr. Trump is busy, and CBS is spineless, and the feminists are as hypocritically calculating as ever, but they do not run my household. I handle things for my viewing household.

Dave…You’re fired.

eric aka the Tygrrrr Express