Yes, you’ve read correctly. To all of you GOP types playing the “offended” card on a daily basis… Prepare to have your feelings hurt, because according to my carefully calculated research… Republicans need to shut up and laugh a little.

Never has the GOP’s lack of funnybone been on sharper display than the last 5 months. For a party that claims to “shun political correctness,” we’ve certainly done a good job of embracing it. Over the past 150 days there have been three “media-worthy” politically incorrect moments related to this administration and Republicans have managed to jump on each one of them for political gain. All to no avail. Let us examine:

Exhibit A

Barack Obama’s Special Olympics comment on Leno. – On air, President B. Hussein Obama made a self-deprecating joke in regards to his bowling abilities. He made the implication that he was so bad at bowling that his skill level resembled that of a mentally challenged athlete. Twas a surprisingly funny, off-handed moment for a generally very unfunny president.

Republicans, however, decided to act as though they were appalled by this and ran with the “you can’t make fun of retards” theme. (I’m paraphrasing here of course, but you get the picture.) I believe that somewhere in the middle, Sarah Palin and her son Trigg were tied into the whole fiasco. The media took little notice and sharp comedians like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert managed to successfully lampoon Conservatives for being humorless old bags. That’s one for you, Democrats…

Exhibit B

Wanda Sykes’ Correspondence Dinner Shtick – In an overall funny routine, Wanda Sykes made a few predictable cracks about several members of the Republican party (and surprisingly a few about the President himself) until the subject turned to Rush Limbaugh. In a tirade based on the false premise of Mr. Limbaugh “hoping that the country fails,” she openly wished for his kidneys to fail.

To be fair, it was her least funny bit of the night, but was still performed within the context of comedy. Sure enough, Republicans jumped on the dame for “wishing death upon somebody, which is inappropriate under any circumstances!”

In the words of the beautifully-mustached John Stossel – “Give me a break!” For crying out loud, she is a comedian who is known for being controversial and for her uncanny adeptness at chewing people out. That’s what she does and that’s why she was hired. We had our shot to be funny and edgy last year. Remember… We went with Rich Little. Sucks to be us.

Finally we have….

Exhibit C

Letterman with the Palin Jokes – Letterman made an off-color joke about Sarah Palin resembling a slutty flight attendant (not funny) along with an extremely “controversial” remark about one of the Palin daughters. When taken in context… The joke was worth a chuckle. Letterman was under the impression that Bristol Palin (the older daughter) had been taken to the ball game and Letterman made a joke about her getting “knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.” Let’s face facts… Bristol has a bad track record when it comes to sexual responsibility and A-Rod is a notorious mimbo. Combine the two, and you’ve got some funny material to work with. Was it in poor taste? Like 90% of Letterman’s bits, yes. Is it hypocritical for a leftist to be holding a Conservative up to a higher standard of sexual morality? Of course.

However, Republicans (and the Palin family) tried to twist this quip into a joke about Letterman wanting to rape their underage daughter, which was subsequently followed by phony outrage.

I’m sorry “fellow Republicans”… But when will we get a clue? Before Reagan, we were seen as the party that couldn’t take a joke. The Gipper fixed that one for us. Now, however, because of silly Conservatives using political correctness as a fulcrum for political gain, we find ourselves right back at square one.

One of my goals in life is to watch political correctness shrivel up and die (as it should be for any true Conservative). I can’t do that however, if Republicans insist on resuscitating it back to life every time they want to act “offended.” Do we really want to be the person at the party around which everyone has to tiptoe around for fear of offending our sensibilities? Come on… We’re not supposed to be “that guy.” Leave that kind of crap to the Sean Penn pansies of the world.