LIBERALS LOVE TO LOSE. When liberals lose, it enables them to feel more superior than they naturally feel. It affords them the opportunity to bitch about injustice and unfairness.
When they win, hell, it was a fair fight. They never, while basking in the glow of a victory, say, “Whew. Thank God the unfairness worked out in our favor this time!” or “The voting machines finally worked!”
They also hedge their bets before a contest, positioning themselves as the enlightened open-minded ones and their opposition as gun and religion loving inbreds before the actual contest has gone down, so in the event of a defeat, they’re prepared to act like victims rather than losers.
I’m referring, of course, to the phenomenal “American Idol” finale, an event that capped off an unbelievably good season of TV. From “Fringe” and “Idol,” to “Friday Night Lights” and “The Office” — and finally to “Lost,” I’ve loved the stuff on the tube this winter/spring. I treated last night’s “Idol” fantastically cheesy finale as a season ending celebration of great TV.
Leave it to a bunch of activist reality TV voters to crap on the whole thing.
It started Wednesday morning with screaming headlines, coyly and dishonestly put in the form of a question: “Will Idol finale be Red State vs. Blue State?”
The answer, of course, is “That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard!” But by putting the question out there, the New York Daily News and others have legitimized debating the outcome along these lines. Gracious in defeat was glam rocker Adam Lambert, but not so his allegedly blue state fanbase.
They secretly love that he lost, because it gives them a chance to viciously rip into “homophobic middle and Southern America”, you know – those drooling mouth breathing red-staters. Homophobia is the best excuse running. According the Nikki “Toldya!” Finke and others, “Brokeback Mountain” lost the Oscar to “Crash” because of homophobia. Lambert lost to Allen because of homophobia. It’s laughable how married they are to this idea (gay marriage?). It can’t be that people just liked “Crash” better, and according to Jim David over at Huffington Post Hucanwhinethe Most, homophobia is the only reason THE ONLY REASON that “the better singer” didn’t win.
I happen to agree with their opinion that “Brokeback” is better than “Crash,” but here’s the thing: they don’t think it’s an opinion. It’s fact.
You cannot possibly prefer “Crash” to “Brokeback” or Kris Allen to Adam Lambert, except of course, if you’re a raging homophobe. This is the only explanation. And David has since clarified his position, defended himself as not liberal but moderate. Fine, but dude, you also said you wish the music professionals would have the final say on the show. What’s the point of a show, then? The premise of the show is that America votes! It’s like replacing Jake Gyllenhall with Maggie Gyllenhall in “Brokeback Mountain.”
You know how many rednecks I heard blaring “Judas Priest” and “Queen” while growing up in Powder Springs, Georgia? The notion that a person living in a red state not embracing an artist, particularly a singer, because the singer is gay or liberal is absurd. Eminem is from a blue state, and has repeatedly come under fire for being homophobic. My favorite bands are liberal (Beastie Boys, Public Enemy) and in one case fronted by a man who’s at least as sexually ambiguous as Glambert (R.E.M.), and guess what?
I DO NOT CARE. I remember reading when I was a teenager that R.E.M.’s “So. Central Rain (I’m Sorry)” was about a dude. This was before homosexuality was the cause celebre, and while I will admit I found it strange, it never made me change the station when it came on, or fast-forward the cassette (we used to have these things called cassettes, kids, they predated CDs and – Oh, CD is short for compact disc…nevermind). No, I warbled along with Stipe, making up lyrics in the spots where he mumbled, which was let’s be honest, for most of the song.
The truth is, Southerners usually win “Idol,” usually against a runner-up who’s – guess what? – Southern. But the whackos have disingenuously decided to decry the outcome this year to further disparage the South specifically, and red state voters in general, because it gives them a chance to sound open-minded, when in fact they sound stupid.
They’re glad Lambert lost, because it gives them yet another chance to be victimized vicariously through someone else.
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