Wanted: Hate Mail From Liberals

I’m collecting material for a book called, “Hate Mail from Liberals.” I always enjoy a great obscenity filled tirade devoid of any facts from a supporter of the guy who was going to change all that. Those lovely folks on the left who wanted us to join in the love fest of coming together and respect for different views. Those masters of tolerance.

Some added personal threats against me and my family always lets me know I am saying the right things. The things Janet Napolitano and her backers want to silence.

If you get hate mail and want me to include it, I would love to have your submissions. I got two great ones this week. The first was written by a guy off his work computer. I happen to be a stockholder in that company. I wrote a response to him and pointed out that he may want to be a little cleverer about the place from where he writes. He wrote back and apologized and asked me to protect his name and place of employment. I told him I would since my intent was not to cost a guy his job but to school him on the ways of the Internet. I also wanted him to know I could take a punch and still be a gentleman.

He was responding to my piece, “Beware the Earth Day Scam.” Here is part of my reply to his mail in which he called me a few names and said I should lose my job:

… words like “idiot” are important too! The definition of an idiot is someone with an IQ of less than 25 and a mental age of 3. Since I can operate a computer, teach at a university and am more facile with language than you it must be apparent that I am at least a moron. Please let’s be fair! A secondary definition of “idiot” is someone who engages in foolish or silly behavior, like writing angry political letters from his work computer.

It’s also interesting that you chose to insult me with an ad hominem attack rather than give a reason for your dissatisfaction. This is a reaction I find to be typical of leftist activists. You are in good company, Janeane Garafolo, Sandra Bernhard, Keith Olbermann, and Rahm Emanuel.

Furthermore, I am a comedian and the piece was a satire. It is very funny but you don’t see the humor because the environmental cause is a religion for you. I am not trying to convince you or convert you but simply to hold you and your absolute faith in the green movement up to ridicule. As a conservative and Christian I am used to getting it from the left and as a comedian when it is well done I can even laugh because I have a sense of humor, something you may lack. You may want to consult a good therapist.

Now get back to work and make me some money or I tell the guy who has a bigger cubicle than you what you are doing on company time.

Today I got a letter from “Rex.” He was upset about my stance on torture. He calls himself “rex reason,” the King of Reason! Instead of a reasoned and logical counter to my article, I received the following which I publish here without correction or editing.

Are comedians supposed to be funny? Was the piece you wrote about torture supposed to be funny? Or was it a rare detour on your part to comment on a serious topic in a serious tone? Or was it supposed to be funny? Cuz it wasn’t funny, nor was it even reasonably accurate, so what exactly were you trying here? Not funny, not accurate…were you trying to be lame? Because it really is a lame piece, Jeff.

Have you ever read the U.S. Constitution? Check it out sometime, it might be illuminating to a caveman like you. You’ll find the original hanging in Dick Cheney’s bathroom, next to the toilet, on that paper roll holder hanging on the wall.

BTW, I already know your wife’s bedroom safeword. She told me that whenever you do something she doesn’t like, she calls you “faggot” and you back off.

With me, she lets me do whatever I want. No safeword. Notice any strange bruises there, bub?

Anyway, Jeff baby, work on the funny part and I might have a gig for you. My kid is turning 7 next month and we need a clown for his party. Are you available?

Rex

Here’s my response:

Thanks for your contribution to my book called “Hate Mail from Liberals.” I hope you don’t mind if I include your e-mail address.

I thought the word “faggot” was on the liberal banned list? Careful there Rex, Perez Hilton may show up at your house.

Your response is typical for a leftie. No thought, just invective and ad hominem name calling. I take it from your screen name you consider yourself to be a reasonable man. You are wrong. You are an immature child. You are also a coward. A real man signs his name.

I feel nothing but sorrow for any child that has to grow up such a pitiful example of a male role model.

BTW I am forwarding you hate mail to a friend at the FBI. I consider the “bruises” comment to be a rape threat against my wife. The FBI takes anonymous cyber threats very seriously. Enjoy!

While, I’m not surprised a liberal would not respond with intelligence and civility, what does amaze me is that they don’t see the hypocrisy of what they write.