'60 Minutes': Let Me Count the Liberal Clichés

I was watching the Masters Golf tournament on CBS over the weekend. Before you guys that go apoplectic when any conservative watches the evil CBS I will state for the record that some things are more important than politics and for me the Masters is one of them. Anyway, I have a regular meeting I attend on Sunday nights at my church and we meet every Sunday, the Masters notwithstanding. Some things are even more important than the Masters, but not many. So when the tournament went into sudden death I had to turn on the recorder and beat feet.

Please keep reading all of you who hate sports in general or golf in particular because this isn’t about sports or golf. In order to make sure I got the entire finish of the Masters I recorded the next two hours of programming on CBS. When I got home and watched the golf I realized I had inadvertently recorded “Sixty Minutes.”

I was just about to hit the delete button since I gave up watching this leftist propaganda program after Dan Rather flaunted his fake Bush Air National Guard documents. Then I thought what the heck I haven’t seen a good biased program lately and my wife and son were away for the evening. I decided to play a game and count the liberal clichés in the program.

I wasn’t disappointed. First up, a piece about a Pentagon program for advanced prosthetics with only one mention of the Pentagon and no mention of Obama military cuts that will endanger this program. Second “news” story, a liberal standard: EVIL GUNS! Leslie Stahl and CBS just can’t seem to figure out why anybody would want to protect themselves with a weapon. In their world, if you outlaw guns then criminals will be forced to rob the local convenience store with a rock or a knife. You see, you silly, silly Second Amendment nut jobs, if we just had stricter laws then criminals would obey them! Then Leslie interviews some college guy who admitted on national TV that he committed a gun felony by conspiring to buy a handgun without proper identification. Of course, he was breaking the law to show how easy it was to break the law! I wonder if any law enforcement agency will track down this gun felon. Here is my question: was CBS news complicit in this man’s crime? Did they encourage him to go into the gun show and buy a gun illegally? Did they give him the money? “I am sure CBS would never do anything like that!” He said, as the sarcasm dripped into the paragraph below.

The show closed with some old guy who reminded me of Andy Rooney but I am pretty sure Andy Rooney died in 1984. A study at the University of Montreal discovered that Andy wrote his last funny line in 1977. It was a joke about Billy Carter and it almost got him kicked out of the East Coast Liberal Elitist Journalist Society. Since that incident he has been afraid to make any jokes since they might offend someone somewhere. Has anybody in America, left or right, every laughed at Andy Rooney? How does this guy still have a job? What does he have on the execs at CBS that they are afraid to get him a room at the Retired Leftist Home right next to Helen Thomas?

Andy closed out the show with a little global warming piece that hit all of the right liberal clichés. The poles are melting and the world water levels are rising, man is evil and using up all of the natural resources of the planet! We are running out of oil! We are cutting down all the trees! Andy even said that a big iceberg from the South Pole might hit the United States. I would try to dispel all of the eco-leftist lies that were in his piece but I don’t have the time. Come to think of it, Andy probably doesn’t either.