The Joker Had It Right: Why So Serious?

I recently said something at a gathering of some of my closest friends that made them look at me like I just clubbed a baby fur seal to death with the lifeless body of a cute little puppy that I had just strangled to death with my swastika arm band. What could be so downright unnerving? Did I say I drank human blood? Did I say I was attracted to little children and poultry? Did I say I wanted to desecrate the local house of worship, non-denominational of course, by throwing feces at it and blaming those inside for all the world’s evil? Well, no. No dear friends, I said nothing of the kind. In fact, all of these things no doubt would lovingly be fought for as our rights by the ACLU.

No, I said something much, much, much worse. I said, “I don’t think that George Bush is a bad guy.” Cue the screeching halt of the car, followed closely by the dumbfounded looks of everyone around, and then the deafening silence after a bomb goes off and everything gets all slow-mo and trippy. Then they all came to at once and holy crap! There were shouts of “evil,” “devil,” “Hitler,” “His Grandfather helped the Nazis,” and the like. WOW. In all of their eyes I had unwittingly just dropped in intelligence to the level of Barack Obama’s bowling skill.

I still can’t believe I said it and I would like to hereby apologize for my ignorance to all my liberal and unfailingly perfect thinking, utterly open minded, and full of nothing but love compatriots. Silly me, I thought this was America, where we could freely exchange ideas and points of view and discuss openly our stance and opinions without fear, thanks to that wise old First Amendment thingy. Oops.

So to all of the angry liberals out there who will happily spew hatred and bile at any who do not think in lock step as they do, while claiming that they are “all about the love,” I say let’s look to the Joker. As the late great Heath Ledger stated “Why So Serious?”

Can you guys please talk to a conservative independent without spewing venom like a Cobra with Tourette’s? C’mon, is it so hard to say, “Really, Spike, and why do you think that?” Instead of calling one of our Presidents Hitler? Seriously? Hitler? Not only is it insidious, but it downright minimizes a horrible atrocity perpetrated by an evil beast. No I’m not talking about Bush. We’re still with Hitler. But when I see these same people wearing shirts with Che or Mao’s happy mug on the front, how could I expect any understanding of real evil?

And just to be clear here, I also don’t think Barack Obama is a bad guy either. I disagree with his policies and think where he is taking this country is dangerous at best. I’m amazed to watch the masses treating every drop of spittle that issues forth from his mouth as if it were Manna from Heaven. There is no discussion on the left about policy. It’s all about how bad the right is for bringing up any objection to Pres. Obama driving us off exit 48 to Lemmingtown. We are in a pretty serious situation now and we had all better strap on a coffee IV drip and stay awake and have some serious discussions about the here and now.

Don’t worry, there will be plenty of time to bash Bush or any of the other people of differing opinions that would dare utter a notion that was not running parallel with yours. But until an actual discussion is tolerated by our all knowing, immensely brilliant, and eternally compassionate friends on the left, I recommend the following.

Simply say that you do not engage in political discussion at all. Because there are only 2 outcomes. Either you don’t agree and a cage match might ensue. Or you will agree and simply rehash the same old opinions to each other about how bad the other side is. Neither sound like much fun to me. I’d rather be sailing. You could always use one of my oldies but goldies. When the discussion turns south, just point behind the person and yell, “Look, it’s Jesus!” And then run like hell the other way. Works for me.

So, in closing, I offer love to both sides. I don’t hate anyone. Well, okay, Hitler. No, the real Hitler. And if you are going to be so angry about politics; take up some frickin Tai Chi, relax, and remember the words of the fabulous Jack Nicholson as the other Joker when he said “Can’t we all just get along?”