Euroweenie Finals: Spain Topples France

The end of an era in world history is always an occasion to note. The results are in and Spain has replaced France as the top Euroweenie country.

France has long held the title coveted by liberal socialist as the European country that most loves kowtowing to dictators and terrorists. France has been at the top of the heap without a serious challenge since the beginning of World War I. Their long history of puckering up for despots from the Kaiser to Kadafi made them a powerhouse. Their willingness to lay down their culture and country to the recent flood of immigrants from the Middle East made them seem unbeatable.

Many serious Europhiles had even quit following this race as it was assumed the nearest competitors, Sweden and Denmark, would never muster enough chances to show a lack of spine in the face evil. Denmark had even fallen so low as legalizing same sex marriage and marijuana in an effort to attract Marxist and anarchist Euroweenies from around the continent to bolster its roster.

The French had recently become blasé about their position even to the point of banning the hijab in public schools and electing a conservative government. Even with these signs of weakness no serious challenges were seen to be arising.

Then two weeks ago, out of the blue, formerly sixth place Spain finished a shrewd and quietly conceived campaign to topple the long recognized champs. This coup was accomplished in three steps. First, the election in 2004 brought to power a far left wing party who promised to withdraw from Iraq, work for unity with Islamic fundamentalists, and make amends for the Spanish Civil War. The terrorist assured the election of these Spanish Euroweenies when it bombed trains in Madrid and allowed the Spanish to quake in their collective pants all the way to the polls.

Second, after the election of the leftist government the Spanish legislature passed a law which allowed the judiciary in Spain to indict anyone, for anything, anywhere. With this framework in place the Spanish were ready to strike. Judge Baltasar Garzon, long time anti American activist began to indict American officials for “crimes against humanity.” With that final maneuver Spain jumped to number one in the rankings moving France to number two for the first time in over ninety years.

The French have promised to mount a comeback as soon as they are attacked by Germany again or figure out the whole bathing thing.

COMMENTS