Mr. President, the last line from French playwright Eugene Ionesco’s play “Rhinoceros” is, “I will not capitulate!” Have you perchance read either the original French or English translation? Did you think that traveling abroad and promising the Europeans the equivalent of personal free sex in the guise of your most sacrilegious “mea maxima culpa,” would result in more than a lot of sticky fingers and “ooo- la la’s” to satisfy your cultish yearnings? Has anyone ever said to you, “Everyone likes to have their ass kissed, but the only thing you usually get in return are more requests?”

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How about that bit of groveling before the Saudi King? “No, no, no, he wasn’t bowing!” said the loyal press contingent! ….no… “The president was reaching for something on the floor.” Oh hell, just spit it out! It was a DVD of that sci-fi horror classic, “It! Sharia From Beyond Space,” wasn’t it! It fell out of the hole that Karl Rove neatly tore in your jacket. How else do you explain that bow? You gawk, like a newborn camel, mysteriously fumbling about, and then we must listen to an American president kill, through disremembering, the memory of shed blood, leadership, proper pride, and financial philanthropy what have been the hallmark of American exceptionalism. These things were evident at least for as long as you were a… what? A Com…..Community Organizer? Is that what you once were?

Charles Krauthammer properly characterized your behavior while appearing on Fox News:

Well where does one begin? Obama says, in America there is a failure to appreciate Europe’s leading role in the world. …Well maybe it’s because when there was a civil war on Europe’s doorstep, in the Balkans, a genocide, it didn’t lift a finger until America led. Maybe it’s because when there was an invasion of Kuwait, it didn’t lift a finger until America led. it’s because with America spending over half a trillion a year, keeping open the sea lanes in defending the world, Europe is spending pennies on defense. It’s hard to appreciate an entity’s leading role in the world, when it’s been sucking on your teat for sixty years as Europe has, in regard to the United States parasitically! …And then he (Obama ) goes on and he calls America arrogant, dismissive and derisive, regarding Europe…….I think what he did in order to gain the adoration of the crowds… he denigrated his country, in a way that I think is disgraceful.

Some United States citizens, Mr. President, cannot imagine why you would devalue the country that you supposedly represent. We noticed how easily upset you were to both spoken and written criticism. You publicly whined when you thought Sean Hannity, a mere talk show entrepreneur, wasn’t being fair with his public critiques of you and your mentor Jeremiah Wright. You kicked three journalists off your plane because their respective papers didn’t support your presidency, and there was an observable reluctance to call on a TV correspondent from Fox News for quite some time. You are sensitive to things said about you, and yet you’re just brimming with cold and cavalier language about the great American populace that has elevated you to the pinnacle of world influence. Why?

When you return home, how sad it will be that you will not have been able to leave what you said in some tawdry saloon, perhaps spoken under the influence of alcohol or another depressant, and therefore forgivable by some stretch of the imagination. Unfortunately, nothing will prevent you from bringing the fruit of your painstaking and laborious speechifying back with you. And please don’t tell us, in your familiar way, that you inherited the very particular discord that will surely follow your return, as your fellow United States citizens finally realize that your revolution was nothing more than a turgid European melon; green on the outside and on the inside, very, very red!