In the past few days there have been several reports about officials, high and low, using new politically correct language to describe things which have been around awhile. The best example is the new head of the Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, refusing to use the word “terrorist.” She preferred describing terrorist actions as “Man Caused Disasters.” The problem with politically correct speech is that it hides the obvious. Even Big Freakin’ Hillbillies like me understand an illegal immigrant is someone who broke the law to get into this country. We of simple minds get confused when folks from the Ivy League start describing them as “migrants.” To us, migrants are plain spoken folk, those who waited in line, did the right thing and came here in accordance with our laws.
In order for us morons on the right to understand the newspeak of the Obama administration I offer this glossary of terms before and after being “Obamized.” Feel free to add to my list while you are still able.
Old Bush/Cheney/Halliburton Hate Speech – Obama Speak
Terrorist – Misunderstood Islamic Freedom Fighter
Terrorist Act – Man Caused Disaster
Wealth Redistribution Scam – Global Warming
Global Warming – Climate Change
Freedom Tower – Chinese World Business Headquarters
Enemy Combatant – Victim of Bush Chaney War Crimes
Illegal Immigrant – Migrant/Democrat Voter
Global War on Terror – Overseas Contingency Operation
Axis of Evil – Islamic Republic of Iran
Socialism – Government Friendly Capitalism
Welfare – Tax Rebate
Businessman – Greed Monger
Entrepreneur – Government Revenue Enhancer
Middle Class – Rich
Republican -Taxpayer
Conservative – Klansman
Abortion – Reproductive Rights
Unfettered Abortion – Embryonic Stem Cell Research
Windfall Profits Tax – Cap and Trade
Volunteer – Americorps Political Activist
On Time Mortgage Payer – Chump
Marxist/Socialist Liberalism – Historic Presidency
Dollar – Global Currency
Reeducation Camp – Job Training
Health Care – Socialized Medicine
Wall Street – U.S. Department of Economic Control
Rehashed Clinton Administration – Change You Can Believe In
Conservative Supreme Court Justice – Homophobe
Private Property – Future Government Acquisition
Bipartisanship – Do It Our Way
Contract Provision – Government Oversight
Seek input from across the aisle – We won, sit down and shut up
Private Enterprise – Future Federal Employment Project
Unemployment – Idleness Compensation Program
National Security Issue – Law Enforcement Problem
Defend and Protect the Constitution – If It Fits My Agenda
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