How I Stopped Worrying about Tobacco Companies and Loved Second Hand Smoking

I quit smoking years ago but love second hand smoking. I especially love watching women smoke. It is more of a cinematic fascination. It looks good. Women are magic and when they come with their own pyrotechnic effects, they are precious.

There’s nothing more American than a strong, beautiful woman blowing smoke in my immigrant face. It makes me feel like a full-fledged American citizen. I’m enchanted by the smoky veil of the American dream and feel the mighty fume coming out of the American land, a Native genie rising from the bottled mysterious desert of endless imagination…

Tobacco was the first intimate bridge between the European settler, the American land and its native population. Smoking tobacco was one of the first peaceful cultural exchanges between settlers and natives. Tobacco was also one of the first uniquely American exports to the world and through the burning of this magnificent plant the New World covered the old world with the purifying smoke of freedom.

Burning tobacco became like burning sacred incense on the altar of freedom, the special effects of the American Spirit, a uniquely American substance which, as with everything uniquely American, can either liberate if used consciously or destroy if used in excess.

The ferocious campaign to extinguish the use of tobacco has much less to do with health concern than with the unconscious urge to demystify the American spirit by stripping it off one of its unique elements.

Most of the anti-smoking health concerns are as genuine as Toyota selling hybrid cars because it cares about environment.

Other anti-smoking health concerns are passionate, such as those I hear in abundance from the same dopey girls who love to jog on the sidewalks of Hollywood during rush hour where their lungs absorb twice as much carbon emissions all in the hope of being discovered by some politically concerned agent or producer stuck in traffic as he listens to a publicly funded Marxist-socialist radio channel which speaks of the benefits of illegal immigration which, by in large, has caused the traffic he’s stuck in.

When the traffic becomes unbearable even the producer wants to light a cigarette, but he won’t. Not because he’s concerned with his well-being — just last Friday he was damaging his brain sniffing glue — he doesn’t smoke because Rob Reiner said he shouldn’t and because he himself donated to the campaign to replace the Marlboro cowboy billboard on Sunset strip with a billboard of some metrosexual ecstatically dancing to his Ipod.

Feminism and anti-smoking campaigns are twin sisters; actually brothers. These two movements are unnatural encroachments of a totalitarian mindset on individual freedom. If you can convince a woman to cease being a woman and you can control an individual’s biological urge to smoke and partake in the mystery of smoking, you can control everything else as well.

This is why every totalitarian state wages vehement anti-smoking campaigns as if the very survival of its people depends on their ability to quit smoking (enter the Soviet Union) as well as a strong control and conditioning of femininity and her sexuality seen as the source of all individual disobedience (enter the Sharia law in the Islamic world).

The desire to be feminine for a woman is a strong urge, just as smoking is a strong urge for both women and men. Suppression of smoking is directed at the eradication of the eternal cosmic reminder of our independent nature. In its core it diminishes our importance as a vessel in which burns a ritualistic smoke of mystery and flames the fire of the Promethean enlightenment.

With all this being said, it is dumb not to acknowledge the apparent health threats that smoking, especially excessive smoking, can cause. It is also true that feminism as a movement is complex and I don’t want to diminish its achievements and importance just because it made some wrong turns along the line. In many cases, it is an umbrella term for various liberation movements of which I am a sincere supporter.

So, yeah, feminism in many ways is good and smoking is bad in many more ways.

Yet, the urge to smoke is primordial and ancestral, it is mysterious and ritualistic. The smoke and fire contain the symbolism of the first primitive steps to human freedom – the harnessing of fire, use of tools, elevation above and mastery of the external world of brutal forces.

It is the war against this symbolism and attribution of individual and social freedoms that are the real underlying themes of such radical campaigns.

Obviously by smoking alone, one is not going to drop the shackles of ignorance. I mean we have a whole hippie generation as a living, or rather, retiring testimony of this. Yet, smoking may in some cases ignite the inner fire of our ancestral memory and that alone is a direct threat to the controlling totalitarian mindset. A mindset that can discourage many to smoke by tricking people into believing that it is done for their own benefit, just like it successfully diverted women from their real and quiet liberating power to a loud imitation of men’s insecurities and illusions of grandeur.