When Team Oscar lands on the Red Carpet at LAX, they’ll tell us what a joy it was sharing tea, finger cookies and film seminars with the hostage-takers, women-stoners, blogger-killers and gay butchers of Iran. As a public service of the VISIBLE Press, I will ask the tough questions Team Oscar will never hear from the Invisible Press. See, Invisible Press, I kill myself! Okay, people, presser coming up.

On With The Show!

EXT. RED CARPET AT UNFRIENDLY SKIES AIRLINER, FLIGHT 666, LAX RUNWAY – DAY

TEAM OSCAR descends the staircase to FLASHING LIGHTS and WILD APPLAUSE. They WAVE.

SUDDENLY an impudent VISIBLE REPORTER SHOVES the INVISIBLE PRESS aside and LEAPS onto the RED CARPET, offending all with his visibility and impudent hard-hitting QUESTIONS:

First of all, Team Oscar, why did you even go in the first place? Even worse, why did you go when you knew there was a ‘Gay Genocide’ going on in Iran? Kinda took the wind out of Sean Penn’s and Dustin Lance Black’s speeches at the Oscars, didn’t it?

You know, schmoozing in the epicenter of today’s Auschwitz for Gays?

Second, how did it feel to get totally punked? Repeatedly? Did you apologize for “300” and “The Wrestler?” Or for the 30 films still in production Iran didn’t like? Or did you all just commiserate together about the True Evil in the World, The Bushitler?

If no apologies were given, why were you granted access to your heel-ground Iran film buddies not long after? What’s up with that? And who were you giving film seminars to? Your heel-ground filmmaker buddies? Or these Iranian Goebbels-like propaganda film industry stooges?

Mr. Ganis, I have a Question! You said the following during your vacation to Hell!

“Iran has the potential of making “big movies” if it can attract investment to cinematic marketing.”

Mr. Ganis. How can Iran attract film financing with all the sanctions on them, and with more to come?

Did you ask about captive American citizen and now-hostage Roxana Saberi? Did the matter of the Gay Holocaust in Iran come up in conversation? Hear any screams from Evin Prison? Did you a know an innocent blogger who was jailed for insulting one of their Supreme Asswipes died in Evin Prison as you shared tea and finger cookies with the Islamist Nazis who murdered him?

Did you enjoy the colorful genocide parades for Omar Bashir in downtown Tehran? Did you know that your not leaving, not speaking up, or taking no action at all, made you silent participants to those genocide parties? Any good sex slave parties after? Stumble across any mass graves? You wouldn’t be the first filmmakers in Iran to make that cultural discovery!

Did you get to take in some of the local color? Any boffo public floggings? Lively stonings? Any cheery public hanging of gays by crane wires? See any “Burn The Great Satan Obama” rallies? Catch any “DEATH TO AMERICA, DEATH TO ISRAEL” missile parades? Was it hard to see all of this Iranian Thugocracy ‘culture’ with your burqas on? Can you even see at all?

Speaking of which, Ms. Bening and Ms. Woodard, why didn’t you make a defiant statement to Iranian women by wearing Western dress the whole time, instead of letting the Mad Mullahs wrap you up like mummies so you look like all the other oppressed women in Iran? Were your burqas in order?

Lastly Team Oscar, did you know that your cultural junket to today’s Third Reich could not have been

more naive or ill-advised than it if had been to the original?

No answers forthcoming on the hard-hitting questions this Visible Reporter has asked. None expected. Team Oscar will depart their Carnival of Ghouls Roadkill Show in Iran and climb right back into their Golden Bubbles in Hollywood. The Invisible Press and their PR reps will make all the bad stuff go away in ways that even Big Brother would marvel at.

And I, your Visibile Press Reporter and Humble Narrator, will remain invisible.

Much as Roxana Saberi herself has been made an unperson by all.

If they can all make HER disappear, what chance do I have?

If only we could do a hostage trade, Team Oscar for Roxana Saberi, all would be well in the world ;-)

PRESSER CONCLUDED

Oh, one last thing. Here’s some contact pages to help free the REAL American hero in Iran!

Here’s the White House. Here’s the State Department. Here’s Congress.

Here’s some for the Invisible Press: the New York Times, CNN, FOX, ABC, NBC, CBS, and AP.

You can even give Sean Penn, Dustin Lance Black and Team Oscar a shout-out over at AMPAS ;-)

FREE ROXANA SABERI! NOW! LIKE RIGHT NOW!