People are still buzzing about Barack Obama’s apparent “dis” of Gordon Brown last week, when the British prime minister paid his first official visit to the new president at the White House.
Brown presented Obama with the following gifts:
• An ornamental desk pen holder made from the oak timbers of Victorian anti-slaver HMS Gannet. (Which reportedly delighted Obama, who placed it on his Oval Office desk.)
• The framed commission for the Gannet’s sister ship, the HMS Resolute; the historic Oval Office desk was a gift from Queen Victoria, carved with wood salvaged from the Resolute.
• A first-edition set of the seven-volume classic biography of Winston Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert. (You may recall the minor foofaraw that broke out when Obama returned a Churchill bust that Britain gave the White House in the wake of 9/11.)
So, what did Brown receive in return?
Would you believe, a boxed set of DVDs?
Well, you should, because that’s what Obama gave him — 25 classic American movies on DVD that one probably could have rummaged from the Best Buy bargain bins for under $100. (At press time, I was unable to confirm the rumor that Michelle Obama threw in a pair of Snuggies.)
Didn’t Obama promise greater multilateralism and “smarter” diplomacy? That exchange seems more unilateral than the Iraq War. They say Tony Blair was Bush’s “poodle.” I shudder to think what this makes Gordon Brown.
Do I sense sabotage at work within Obama’s ranks? If I’m not mistaken, the State Department is in charge of diplomatic protocol. And who’s in charge of the State Department?
Oh, right.
In an exclusive, Big Hollywood obtained a copy of the Amazon gift receipt from an anonymous source (*cough* Hillary *cough*). Below is a facsimile of the receipt which includes personalized comments by the gift-giver.
AMAZON.COM PRIME MEMBER
IN THIS SHIPMENT
- Item
Lions for Lambs
In the Valley of Elah
Redacted
I love a good war movie, don’t you?
Little Big Man
Dances With Wolves
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Gotta love a rip-roaring Western, too!
JFK
Wall Street
Salvador
I learned more about history and finance from Oliver Stone than from all my professors at Columbia!
Bowling for Columbine
Fahrenheit 911
Sicko
Michelle and I love documentaries! Especially when they’re true!
The Constant Gardener
Michael Clayton
Sweeney Todd
Anytime I start feeling a little sympathy for business people, I fire up one of these reality checks!
Pineapple Express
Undercover Brother
Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
I like a good comedy, especially one you can relate to!
An Inconvenient Truth
More great comedy! Al Gore really comes alive in this one!
Being There
An inexperienced duffer in a nice suit spouts some banal lines about change and unity and becomes a political leader. Truly inspiring!
Syriana
I promised Michelle I’d keep down the number of documentaries, but this one will really open your eyes about what’s happening in the Middle East!
Overlooked classic from 1933. During the Depression, a president assumes dictatorial powers and imposes a socialist agenda. Like “Rahmbo” always says, never let a crisis go to waste! ;)
Just to prove I’ve got nothing against you Brits! And guess what, Gordo? I’m text buddies with both leading ladies. ;)
The Democratic Process: Saul Alinsky and His Legacy
Narrated by Alec Baldwin! Full of “great” “community”-“organizing” “tips” (wink wink) that will unite the country in a giant bear hug of bipartisan love. Example: viciously attack and scapegoat Rush Limbaugh, coordinating it through the lapdog press. Can’t you feel the love? But hey, you don’t get him in England. Well, then, any popular far-right talk show host will do. You don’t have any of those? Not even someone slightly right of center? Forgetaboutit! You’re a shoo-in! I might take some of these DVDs back! (Just kidding!)
Dead Man Talking: How to Use a TelePrompter Properly
An absolute life-saver! Thankfully, nobody showed this one to McCain. Of course, he’d probably still be trying to figure out how to “rewind” the DVD!
P.S. Don’t share that last one with Bobby Jindal!