The nation’s most disorganized live-blog follows below starting as 9pm West Coast style.
1. Anyone who goes to college at 16 and graduates Summa Cum Laude is clearly not smart.
2. Even though he is 24-years-old, and that SOUNDS cool, it’s not. Ask yourself, is Jack Bauer a callow youth? Don’t the young hotshots always go down hard when they’re around him?
3. Having happily posed for a picture with him, Kiefer Sutherland is expecting a little LOYALTY, thank you very much.
4. Ben has a very full head of hair, Jack Bauer does not. Someone in that last sentence cannot fully understand the struggles Jack endures every day to simply make the right decision at every juncture.
5. Jack Bauer protects things, while Ben is trying to convince us that Jack Bauer is only a fictional character, thereby endangering us all.
6. He probably learned the Constitution from Laurence Tribe while at Haahhhrvard Law School.
7. He clearly has disrespect for the people of Sengala. You can’t just imagine away a country, Ben. Haven’t you visited the UN?
8. I need help keeping this Johnny-Come-Lately live-blog alive, and Ben has not helped.
9. I come to praise ’24,’ not to bury it.
Forthwith, we will make fun of the show and each other. Come on in – three’s not a crowd!