While the Left may choose to lump those who take issue with Hollywood’s insidious political messages into one conveniently broad, loud, and demanding category, anyone who reads Big Hollywood should realize instantly that such thinking is simplistic and even foolish. (Yes, Hollywood, we are legion, but we are not collectively twisted up by the same demon — no wonder you’re confused).

As Roald Dahl famously put it, “We have so much to do, and so little time. Strike that, reverse it.” Indeed, the genuine problems with programming are probably simpler to address than we make them out to be, and we do in fact have time to think about, discuss, and execute a more perfect product.

But while we’re at it, I believe it’s crucial to address some ridiculous claims shouted from our own ranks. For starters, the chief complaint I hear from the social cons is an absolute mystery to me: the blanket declaration that television needs more “wholesome” programming.

Let’s turn to the cable guide for clues…

For the youngsters, we now have Animal Planet, Discovery Kids, Disney Kids, PBS Kids, Nickelodeon, Noggin, the Science Channel, etc.

Clearly children’s television has evolved since the “good ol’ days.” Remember when there was nothing for children on television during the week except “Sesame Street,” “The Electric Company,” and (the always slightly disturbing) “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood?” When those ended, you could look forward to the Gobi Desert of soap operas, game shows, and reruns of “Love, American Style.”

For tweens or teens and older viewers, the cable gods bring us, for instance, The Discovery Channel, the Food Network, the History Channel, the Science Channel, Disney proper (post noon — Phineas and Ferb is brilliant, and certainly entertaining for children and the quirky older set alike)…I could go on, but I’ve named twelve networks. Not programs, mind you, but entire networks suitable for family viewing!

Okay, not every program on each of these channels is to everyone’s taste. Personally, I would not allow my toddler to watch Barney under any circumstances. I would chop off my own finger first. Nor would I have allowed my six- or seven-year-old to watch “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,” though some conservatives suggested that this is the proper demographic for that program (huge cringe factor for me…the child’s taste buds aren’t even formed yet!).

Some of you seem to be under the impression that I am not a discerning parent because I permitted my six-year-old to watch “Holy Grail” in the second grade — for the record, she watched it once, pausing the VCR of her own volition to transcribe all the best bits. Plenty of old, classic movies contain racy bits or innuendo–yet you could comfortably watch them with your children because they didn’t understand the parts they weren’t supposed to get. It’s that simple.

And certainly a lot of it went over her head. I stand by that decision. Further, you can feel free to mock the earnest debate I had with my husband about whether our pre-school daughter should be allowed to watch “Sesame Street” (he was convinced that Mr. Hooper’s store was some sort of socialist co-op as he claims he never witnessed any money changing hands). To each his own. Yay, marketplace! (She did, in fact, watch “Sesame Street” — but that debate itself was a luxury, given the myriad options for children’s television in this era).

The bottom line is that if you are looking for “wholesome” family programming and not finding it, you just aren’t looking very hard. Have you seen “Mythbusters,” “How It’s Made,” “Good Eats,” “Unwrapped”…or the constant cable loop featuring fantastic miniseries like “Planet Earth” and “Meerkat Manor?”

By screaming for programming that already exists in spades, we only give credence to the media’s cartoonish portrayal of the “right wing” as deeply out of touch and a little bit crazy.

As they say on “Blues Clues,” when one is frustrated: “Stop. Breathe. And think…”