The Boyd Crowder Translator

WHAT HE SAYS:

I fear that within my belly stirs the emanations of desire for a product that sates the ache within

WHAT HE MEANS:

I’m hungry

WHAT HE SAYS:

Well, my darling, being a lowly omnivore like yourself,  I shall choose from this glorious list of animal flesh – the edible prize that men have hunted and killed for centuries, incidentally –  a rounded flesh of cow, slipped within a doughy mattress, saddled with cheddar

WHAT HE MEANS:

I’ll have a cheeseburger.

WHAT HE SAYS 

Well,  well, well – I hesitate to ask what brings us the pleasure of this divine coincidence that we find ourselves crossing paths this fine spring morning

HE MEANS: 

What are you doing here?

WHAT HE SAYS:

I fear my brother I am in a quandary as to your inner thoughts and the impact of said ruminations on your future actions in this here hollow

WHAT HE MEANS:

What’s up?

WHAT HE SAYS:

Be that as it may, I sense within me a growing, nagging torpor that seeks a temporary hibernation in a solitary area for comfort and slumber. 

WHAT HE MEANS:

I’m going to bed.