Kim Jong Il Made His Sushi Chef Kiss Him on the Regular

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.

Well, except for the whole employer-employee, dictator-subject relationship going on. And some death threats here and there. NBD.

Even in death, the former supreme ruler of North Korea, Kim Jong Il, provides a flowing spring of gallows humor. In an upcoming GQ interview with the late tyrant’s personal sushi chef (preview courtesy of FishbowlDC), we learn that while Kim wasn’t threatening America with nukes or starving his own people in work camps, he was fishing for smooches around the office.

Kenji Fujimoto, the aforementioned chef, confirms what we already knew–that Kim was a free-range, certified organic lunatic–but also shows us just how passive aggressive the dude was:

Every time Shogun-sama said to me, “Do you like me?” I answered, “Of course, I like you so much.” I was thinking about making a joke–“I don’t like you, I despise you.” I wanted to say that as a joke, but I had no courage. Shogun-sama said, “If you like me, why don’t you kiss me on the cheek?” I don’t remember how many times I kissed him. A hundred times? A hundred kisses. We would go to the sauna together, naked. Shogun-sama said, “Oh, you have a good body, a masculine body.” I said, “I’m good at sports.” It’s not too much to say I was a good playmate for Kim Jong-il. And every time he asked me to kiss his face, he always said to me, “If you betray me, you will…” Then he would go silent and make a gesture of a knife going into my stomach.

Given that he’s divulging Dear Leader’s most intimate secrets to an American publication, it sounds like Kenji either found a way out of the Kims’ employ and thus the country, or he just knows what magazines Kim Jong Un doesn’t read. Either way, brass balls.