In response to Top Five Smartest Decisions of My Life:

I’d love to join the game here, but I’m coming up about 4 smart decisions short of an official entry. As an alternative let me tap a much richer source of material: my monumentally epic bad ones.

5. Betting my brother 5 bucks I could ride a Honda SL-125 with no hands while standing on the seat.

4. At 14, discovering my mom’s bottle of lime vodka.

3. Dating a dance/poetry major.

2. Spending a sunny day at the Bonneville Salt Flats, in shorts, unaware of reflected sunlight.

1. Volunteering for the Ted Kennedy presidential campaign. 

True stories all. Top those, smartypantses.