Watching the Oscars, you’d think these people were curing breast cancer. But the truth is, they’re just really good at helping us suspend disbelief for a few hours. 

But when these kings and queens of cachet are all done celebrating themselves, most Americans will still be stuck in a less luxurious reality. After the Oscars are over, the actors, the producers and the directors won’t have to cope with smaller paychecks and bigger tax bills, a lower standard of living and higher gas prices. 

I mean, at least they could’ve made the thing funny.