Jeffrey Jena - Page 3

Articles by Jeffrey Jena

Let's Tax Guns, Talk Radio, Ambition and Taxes

When you spend a few trillion bucks you don’t have, at some point you need to come up with a plan to pay that money back. If you don’t, you look bad and no messianic cult figure ever wants to

Are We Witnessing a Greek Tragedy?

I was watching the President at Notre Dame a few weeks ago and hoping that one good Catholic student would rise in defense of the church and the unborn and do what the Jesuits teach best, question authority. I wanted

Sotomayor: Justice Denied

Alright, let’s see a show of hands, how many of you think that Sonia Sotomayor got nominated for the big job because she is, hands down without a doubt, the best qualified judge in America. Exactly! If our friends on

Lies Obama Told Me

Remember way back in 2008 when George Bush was still the President and everyone on the left was screeching about lies? If you can’t remember that far back just flip over to MSNBC and wait a few minutes they’ll be

'American Idol': Pre-packaged For Maximum Profit

I have never really watched “American Idol” until this season. My wife is a huge fan and every year I would watch the first few “audition” weeks with her for the same reason people slow down near a car accident.

The Beauty of Modern Airline Travel

I am a stand- up comic and I love what I do for a living but I hate traveling to get there. I do between 125 and 150 road dates a year. Fortunately for me I can drive to a

Grading the Comedian in Chief

Barack Obama is getting ready for his next career. The other night in he was the opening act for comedian Wanda Sykes at the White House Correspondents dinner. Soon he could be featuring at Funny Bones across America. It was

Let's Ban Some Brits

I have a confession to make; I am a fan of Dr. Michael Savage. Before you get all blue in the face and start screaming at me about how hateful he is I will admit sometimes he says things I

Obama's Second Hundred Days: My Psychic Predictions

I say, why wait! While a lot of pundits and talking heads are busy dissecting the first hundred days of the Obama Nation, I’m looking to the future! I am going into one of my famous psychic trances to peer

Air Force One, Flaps Up!

I was amused when the White House announced that it was going to look into the whole flap surrounding the buzzing of The Statue of Liberty and Lower Manhattan by Air Force One a few days ago. The White House

Wanted: Hate Mail From Liberals

I’m collecting material for a book called, “Hate Mail from Liberals.” I always enjoy a great obscenity filled tirade devoid of any facts from a supporter of the guy who was going to change all that. Those lovely folks on

Obama Tortures Me Every Day

Let me see if I can understand the liberal view of so called torture. I really am trying to understand why the left, especially the ones that work near downtown Los Angeles, have their shorts so far up their behinds.

'60 Minutes': Let Me Count the Liberal Clichés

I was watching the Masters Golf tournament on CBS over the weekend. Before you guys that go apoplectic when any conservative watches the evil CBS I will state for the record that some things are more important than politics and

Beware the Earth Day Scam

I am sure you have received e-mails from scam artists around the world telling you that they have something of value they want to bring to the United States. If you would just be so kind as to help them

The New Spokesperson for Tolerance

Irony is my favorite type of humor. Here’s a great example: while the leftists try to paint conservatives as shallow, small-minded and unwilling to compromise, their most unfunny, close-minded and shrill spokesperson sits for a chat with the ex-ESPN employee

Excuse Me, Your Leftism is Showing

On March 2nd there was a demonstration in Washington D.C. It was billed as the largest demonstration for green power/global warming awareness/stop dirty coal/ let’s all go live in a tepee, ever held. It was attended by, (are you ready

Enemy of the State? Me?

Wow! Here is what I did today. I taught my comedy writing classes, I went to the driving range and YMCA with my son, and I worked for about four hours on a new web site I’m helping to launch.

Messing with Mother Nature

In the spirit of full disclosure I am a global warming/climate change denier. I’m not even sure what the term “climate change” means. The climate is changing all the time. Most of us out here in Flyover Land call it

Euroweenie Finals: Spain Topples France

The end of an era in world history is always an occasion to note. The results are in and Spain has replaced France as the top Euroweenie country. France has long held the title coveted by liberal socialist as the

Obama Takes on North Korea

Secretary of State Clinton and President Obama warned the North Koreans in the strongest possible terms that if they launched their new ICBM there would be hell to pay! Despite this stern warning they launched their missile April 4th. So

Barack the Re-Gifter?

I have a gift for Obama but I’ll get to that in a minute. Awhile back I wrote an essay about how the policies of the new administration and comments of leading Democrats had negatively impacted my business. Since my

Backdoor-ing the Second Amendment

If I could wave a magic wand and change anything about the good old U.S. of A. tomorrow I wouldn’t fix the economy or get us out of Iraq and Afghanistan. I wouldn’t wish away the Obama budget or Nancy

Speaking Obama

In the past few days there have been several reports about officials, high and low, using new politically correct language to describe things which have been around awhile. The best example is the new head of the Department of Homeland

Is There No Place For Aging Propagandists To Go?

I watched the Presidential news conference last night and perhaps the most striking thing I learned was that there is apparently some sort of assisted-care shortage in America. I figured that out when I saw Helen Thomas there in the

Mortgage Math Doesn't Add Up

I am no Nobel Prize winning economist like Paul Krugman. I didn’t go to Harvard or Dartmouth like the president and his economic brain trust of Geithner and Paulson. I did, however pass seventh grade math at Holy Family School

I'm 'Shocked' But Still Take Full Responsibility

As all the politicians, left and right, run around feigning indignation at the bonuses paid to a few AIG executives I am reminded of the scene in the movie “Casablanca” when Captain Renault closes down Rick’s Café American. As his

Obamania Tops Europhoria

The Federal Office of Trend Management announced today that “Obamania” has officially replaced “Europhoria” as the favorite new high of the far left. Europhoria is the absolute adoration of anything European over anything American. Until recently progressives in the United

What Are We Stimulating?

I heard today that the eighteen million jobs that are supposed to be created by the Obama Over-Stimulating Bill are to be paid at union wage. It is a small detail. Apparently it was in the fine print that nobody

Rumbling For Rush

Fade In: Exterior: An old building somewhere in downtown Austin, TX. Cut To: Close up: A sign which reads “The Austin American-Statesman” Cut to Interior: A small squalid desk covered with trash. At the desk sits a man from Maine

AFTRA: Card Check This!

I’m a member of two performing arts unions. I pay dues to two organizations that actively support efforts to influence producers to hire fewer actors of my gender and race. They also spend millions of my dollars supporting candidates and

Deconstructing 'The New York Times'

On Sunday I was returning from a show outside Albuquerque. Do I need to tell you it’s in New Mexico? I think we all know where it is. When I say “just outside,” I mean 120 miles which, in terms

Mr. President, Is My Job Worth Saving?

Just in case you’ve never read my bio, I am a stand-up comedian and have been slinging jokes for over thirty years. I have had my ups and downs, worked the road for years, gigged in dumps and Vegas palaces,

Is It Me, Or Is It Hot In Here?

Why all the hats and jackets? I’m not a man of strong faith, so I’m constantly looking for signs of God working around me. As a comic I have to believe that God has a sense of humor. Yesterday those

Regarding 'The Speech'

Because of a Pittsburgh gig, I only got to see twenty minutes of Rush Limbaugh’s CPAC speech on CNN while in a hotel room ironing my pants. If you’re eating lunch and getting that mental picture, I apologize. After the

Breaking Down Barack

Ever since Bill Clinton gave us the greatest insight into the modern political mind with the words, “It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is,” it has become important for the intelligent citizen to closely parse all political speech.

Fool's Gold

There’s a new gold rush on but you don’t have to head to the hills of California to be part of it. All you have to do is tune in to talk radio and jot down an “800” number where

Miley Cyrus, My Hero!

These are some words I never thought I’d say, but I hope Miley Cyrus loses the four billion dollar lawsuit that has been filed against her. In case you’re not up on this story Ms. Cyrus, who is a 16

Burying California

With apologies to John Lennon, everybody in California sing along: Imagine there is no Government, It’s easy if you try, Just essential services No bureaucratic lies Imagine all the people keeping more of their dough, You may say I’m a

Joaquin Walks Outside the Line

Out here in the sticks, despite the fabulous inventions technology has brought us, news travels slowly. I like Letterman but don’t often watch the show because I’m usually either writing or in bed at 11:30 P.M. Besides, I am a