Greg Gutfeld - Page 13

You may remember when, a few years back, the tour bus belonging to rabid environmentalist/human kazoo Dave Mathews dumped up to 100 gallons of human waste through the grates of a Chicago bridge, drenching folks on a boat below, as

So when two scrappy DC journalists bring down a President, it’s turned into “All the President’s Men,” winning accolades and Oscars. When an unemployed single mother of three takes the fight to an energy giant, it becomes a blockbuster vehicle

So tonight`s show is Red Eye`s 600th. And that’s kind of amazing. I`ve never done 600 of anything – and that includes reverse tricep curls (which I invented, by the by). But from the day we began, on February 5th,

Now, you know a word has lost all meaning when Jimmy Carter finally gets around to saying it. America’s angriest has-been JUST HAD to weigh in on the Joe Wilson affair, linking it to inherent racism – following in the

While people fixate on Kanye West’s drunken outburst at the VMA’s last night, remember that he wasn`t the only bozo in the room. The other was British comedian Russell Brand, and worse – he was sober. He had no excuse.

So Charlie Sheen recently penned a fictitious conversation between himself and President Obama – one in which he questions our Commander-in-chief on the big 9/11 cover up. Yes, the star of Scary Movie 3 – and Scary Movie 4 –

So the music website Pitchfork unloaded its top 500 songs from the last ten years, and it was a mix of mainstream mediocrity, desperate hipsterism, and legitimate inspiration. For every great choice they made (say, Goldfrapp), they immediately canceled it

So President Obama is addressing a joint session of Congress next Wednesday, and you know it`s going to be important stuff! Oh wait – it`s health care. For a moment I thought maybe we`d hear something about the economy (in

So another Rambo flick is on its grimy, sweaty way and this time the villains are human traffickers and drug lords. To make them even more despicable, they’ve kidnapped a young girl and are probably ignoring her strict vegan needs.

So that former South Carolina state worker who won nearly 260 million bucks says he doesn’t think the money will change him. That’s right, retiree Solomon Jackson also vows to do good with the money, perhaps supporting education programs and

So the king of the travel guide racket, Arthur Frommer, has come out against Arizona. Yes, he claims he’ll no longer visit the state because it permit “thugs” to openly carry guns. He revealed this on his blog, after witnessing

So on Tuesday, we did a segment on this black dude who showed up in Arizona where Barack Obama was speaking – with an assault weapon and a pistol strapped to his shoulder. We all pretty much agreed, that despite

So Barney Frank finally found someone he could beat in a debate. The Congressman was speaking at a town committee meeting at Dartmouth, Massachusetts, when a crazy lady approached the microphone with a quivering rant – linking Obama’s health care

Otherwise known as Robert Novak, this gnome-like figure dominated the political talk show landscape throughout the late 80’s and 90’s – as a panelist for “The McLaughlin Group,” and later the “Capital Gang.” So, was Robert Novak the coolest man

So right now the public option part of Obama’s health care reform bill is in free fall, and many are blaming Republican opposition. Which, of course, is giving the Republicans way too much credit. Fact is, the people you have

So President Obama’s nominee for surgeon general has a dirty past – one so lurid it has many concerned experts wringing their hands in typical hand-wringing fashion. What might this skeleton in Dr. Regina Benjamin’s closet be? Did she run

So you remember Barbara Boxer’s attack on the townhall protesters, calling them disruptive “plants,” because they were too well dressed to be protesters. She had a point: they were well dressed. And most protesters of the lefty persuasion are not–a

So what happens when you produce something so huge that it’s virtually unreadable? Normally it’s left unread. I call it the Harlot’s Ghost maxim. But what do you get when this strategy of over-delivering backfires? Pure comedy unmatched even by

Speaking truth to power was supposed to be heroic – like yelling at your parents over their lapses in recycling. But then something funny happened: people started speaking truth to power to people who speak truth to power. And now

So in Australia, which is a country, a swimming school operator plans to stage a symbolic protest against what she calls the “sanitization” of kids’ sports, by holding a “swimming carnival.” I have no idea how she’s getting the Ferris

So the latest GI Joe flick is creating controversy, because the character is no longer portrayed as a typical American soldier. Instead he’s part of some elite murky force of international fighters – a Benetton ad with rocket launchers. On

So posters of President Obama made up as Heath Ledger’s Joker with ‘Socialism’ written below it have been showing up around L.A – and it’s being greeted with the usual outrage you’d expect from people who get outraged. Some are

So according to new research, having sex without a condom is healthy – at least for your head. A leading Scottish psychologist claims that unprotected straight sex can dramatically boost men’s and women’s mental well-being – with or without the

So yesterday on the Huffington Post, Deepak Chopra published yet another anti-American screed – this time lamenting the fact that we’re the last remaining superpower. He says the world would be a better place if the US just packed it

It used to be that the most important job in the world was to “raise awareness.” Everyday we were told how important it was to do it for issues like AIDS, global warming, and indoor plumbing. But just as raising

I’ve been way behind on this, mainly because I had relatives staying with me, and consequently I’ve been drunk for four days. However, this piece of footage is still worth showing, courtesy of Weaselzippers. In it CNN’s Don Lemon is

So apparently the Obama administration will be announcing a review of our terror alert system put in place by George W. Bush after 9/11. You know the thing: it’s made up of five delightful colors designating increasing levels of risk:

So according to the Wall Street Journal, the CIA had been kicking around a secret plan designed to off al-Qaeda chieftains – something the Democrats say they were never told about. The actual program was dropped early on – either

So on some recent radio show hosted by the Rev. Al Sharpton, a male caller phoned in with a theory about Michael Jackson’s death. Turns out he didn’t kill himself using a panoply of pharmaceuticals. It was all Sarah Palin’s

So if there`s one thing we learned recently, it`s that it`s not nuclear war that can wipe everything off the map. It`s the death of a pop star. Think about the things that mattered back in June: Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan,

So over the weekend, while I was sunning myself by the pool, surrounded by all the things that make me happy (my masseuse Roderigo, my aromatherapist Pablo and a hollowed-out gourd), a report was released ranking nations from least to

So Obama is holding a townhall meeting right now (cue hearty applause from a sea of clapping seals) to tout his monstrous health care overhaul – more evidence that we’re entering the hard sell phase of something so unnecessary it’s

So according to a new poll by WorldPublicOpinion.org, Barack Obama is the most trusted political leader in the world. The poll was of nearly 20,000 residents of the largest nations, including even Macau. Oh how I love Macau. From my

Michael Jackson is dead. I get why this is news, and on a very deep level, why it’s important to a lot of people. But I hope soon we all make room for the things that are equally as important.

Now imagine you were somebody who only got your news from USA Today. What a weird worldview you’d have. For one, you’d think colorful pie charts solve every problem, and you’d also think our military consists of nothing but troubled

As a middle-aged pudgy schlub, I am eternally in awe of those who serve in our armed forces. But my awe is always fueled by a little anger – primarily driven by our pop culture-driven media, and what they consider