If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s advice from people like me, who love giving tips that I’d never actually use in real life. But I give advice because it puts pressure on myself to actually act on the same suggestions – because I know, as a flaming hypocrite, I probably won’t.
Greg Gutfeld offers his albums of the year review.
If there’s one overarching theme you can stamp all over the ass of this exiting year, it’s denial. We saw experts denying political phenomena, politicians denying apocalyptic threats, activists denying facts (replaced by mob-approved figments), students denying their own adulthood, in favor of infantile regression. In sum, 2015 was a horrible year, mainly because we denied what was making it so horrible.
If our lack of attention and ambivalence forbids us from obsessing over one horrific crime for at least 48 hours, how can we actually convince a country to fight an existential threat responsible for that horrific crime?
Self-defense is not an option to choose among other hobbies – but a responsibility you must embrace for the preservation of your family, and society – the world, even.
Donald Trump’s hosting gig was neither a big win or a horrible loss for DT–which ultimately makes it a victory for him. Some thoughts:
As you read this, I will be on a bus somewhere between PA and Ohio hawking a book. I can’t use the bus toilet (we aren’t allowed), which pretty much negates the principle of a bus toilet. Instead we use the Cracker Barrel Restroom, which happens to be the name of my next metal band.
1. HILLARY WILL INITIALLY LAUGH LIKE A DRUNKEN FAIRGROUND HARLEQUIN But it will be followed by an awkward silence, then she will address the moderator with a canned statement, and the world yawns. It won’t work, for anyone. 2. JIM
Since, like most people these days, I only watch a show in one multi-hour clump of multiple episodes, head resting on a folded pillow, eating dark chocolate almonds under the false assumption they’re healthier (the almonds fill up space where the chocolate is, I tell my wife), I finally caught up with the entire season of the Jim Gaffigan Show.
Let’s begin with the late Andrew Breitbart’s often repeated quote: Politics is downstream from culture. Meaning, culture influences politics, not the reverse – and until conservatives figure out a way to take the culture back from the left, we cannot win.
On Monday, a lowly cable network known for bleeding viewers had a talking head on that remarked on the “enormity” of grief that followed the murder of a white Texas deputy by a black dude in a gas station.
We’re all a**holes. I’ve just decided to do it in public, while you do it – mostly – at home. You, Gutfeld – are an a**hole, too. Admit it, as you write this very sentence. You. Are. An. A**hole. I’ve met you and your wife. I honestly do not know how she puts up with you. She’s a great gal. Fabulous. What she’s doing with you, an aging dwarf – astounds me. Seriously, have her call me.
Because it’s summer, and you’re supposed to spend a fair portion of it sweating under the blinding sun, devouring antiquated things called books – I figure I’d offer you my reading list so far. But instead of writing typical reviews for these following five tomes, I’m just gunna tell you what each book made me think about, and why.
Greg Gutfeld reveals his scorecard for the first Republican presidential debates.
Note: I consider Donald a pal. That’s why I’m critical of him.
Many disadvantages come with being a rightie.
On a sunny day, in lower Manhattan, we heard the cries of a man who appeared in anguish.
The reviews of their first album in about 17 years have been frustratingly predictable. They break down in this manner:
When someone has a skewed sense of their body, experts say she suffers from a dysmorphic disorder.
GREG GUTFELD: SINCE THIS IS YOUR FIRST BOOK, HOW TERRIFIED WERE YOU OF FAILING MISERABLY (I HAVE READ THE BOOK ALREADY, AND KNOW THAT IT’S REALLY GREAT, AND WILL SELL TONS). HOW DID YOU PLAN IT OUT? WAS IT HARD TO GET STARTED?
Could Jeffrey Ross save the world?
I was once a self-conscious conservative. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s a natural part of believing in something, or anything, worth believing in.
As South by Southwest terminates in its usual glut of pudgy arm tattoos, over priced craft beer, and beta male posturing, I must wonder, how do bands get popular these days?
The title of this piece is exactly what I said, when a coworker reacted with surprise about my recent exit from the wonderful show, Redeye. I said, “it’s the end of an error,” when of course, I meant, “era.”
A lot of people have written about New York Times guy David Carr, who died last week.
I noticed it first when a person said to me, “I used to like your work, until you said X.” The “X” could have been a joke or comment about pets or musicians — but for the offended, it was enough for them to disown their previous opinions of me forever.
I’m three weeks late with this column, which was simply intended to list my choices for the best songs of 2014. I do this every year, and I look forward to it – but I figured this time I would address why I
Forgive me if a march for unity leaves me cold. It should be a march for war. This is not a time for a call for unity under the guise of tolerance, but for a unity of will – a collective fortitude necessary to destroy a movement that wants to destroy us. Most people get this. The media, not so much.
I hate the news right now, because websites, TV shows, and blogs are all reporting on the Sony emails – poring over the content, sucking out the juiciest bits and spitting them our way. Accidentally, I’ll get one right in
Anyone who reads my list of favorite records knows I’m an old punk who over the years has drifted into psychedelic and acid rock, and there is no turning back for me. To me, all music should be psychedelic: if
The fourth season of “Portlandia,” the brilliant show created by Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein, is now available on NetFlix, and it’s better than it has ever been – systematically devastating in its portrayal of modern American malaise, pretension, and ego – and funny
As political races loom and gloom sets in among democrats, the topic of racism heats up. Race warfare is the weapon you grab when it looks really, really bad. The sad part: it works! While racism exists (everywhere), the notion
I hate self-help books, and yet I realize, when I begin a sentence with, “I hate self-help books,” it’s because I’m about to make a sharp turn with, “But this book is different.” Yes, it’s true. Sadly, I am now
Ezekiel Emanuel, a primary mastermind of Obamacare, wants you to know that he wishes to die at 75. So, PLEASE, don’t try to stop him. LET HIM GO. I KNOW… it’s hard. He’s a swell guy. In his recent pseudo-controversial article
He was all over the news, roughly a month or so ago: Kent Brantly, the doctor whocontracted Ebola in Africa. But since he’s been discharged from Emory University Hospital weeks ago–when wesaw him hugging hospital staffers and reuniting with his
For the past week or so, Russell Brand and I have been jabbing at each other on the web and TV. It all began when Brand attacked Fox News Contributor and Wall Street Journal editorial board member Jason Riley for
Make no mistake: Gene Simmons can be an irritating, egotistical asshole. But he’s a smart one. One who has made money not just for himself, but for thousands of people along his five-decade career. And he is one who speaks
There is only one person I listen to when it comes to war and the freedom it preserves and protects: Terry Schappert. Terry fought in the first Gulf War as a paratrooper, and in the Iraqi War as a Green
When I was a teen, I used to see the VHS copy of Picnic at Hanging Rock at our local version of Blockbuster, called Captain Video. I would stare at the alluring cover — featuring young girls in white dresses —
It’s Sunday morning, and I’m reading the reports on the Malaysia Airline mass murder, and it’s beyond depressing. Imagine if it were a son or a daughter, a sister or a brother, a mom or a dad–rotting in that field. And