Telegraph: Maybe A Caliphate Is Not Such A Bad Idea

Caliphate
The Telegraph

Supposedly the most right wing broadsheet in Britain has this afternoon called for the establishment of an Islamic “caliphate”. Democracy and the separation of church and state are folly, the Telegraph tells us, and the only way stop Muslim murdering is to create a theocratic dictatorship.

“Murderous extremists are exploiting the Muslim world’s vast desire for a true Caliphate. The best way to stop them is to build one”, touted the article, titled “What an alternative Islamic State looks like”.

Except, the column didn’t really explain how the proposed caliphate would substantially differ for the one we’re already got. It just needs to be exclusively to Sunni, said the Telegraph, and led by an Arab.

Sound familiar?

“Trying to eradicate [IS] with a secular doctrine would be as useless as trying to bomb it from the skies of Syria”, opines the piece.

Explaining that: “All pious Muslims well-read in the Hadith (the compiled sayings of the Prophet) firmly believe in the need to establish an Islamic State headed by a Muslim Caliph.”

However, the ISIS leader Abu Bakr is a “charlatan” and needs to be “replaced by a caliph who wears a modern suit and trims his beard” clarifies the author. And preferably “one who doesn’t order decapitation of prisoners or the destruction of statues”.

“More people would gather the courage to come out expressing public support” if he was well groomed and not quite so iconoclastic.

“Sunnis of today… feel weak, headless, victimised, and abandoned”, says the article, and only 7th century divine law can turn things around.

“Isil’s leader might depart the scene soon, but the school of thought that he is using will live long in the minds of Muslims worldwide.”

The ultimatum is clear: “Sunni victimisation is at its highest ebb, and, given no alternative, more will pledge allegiance to the [ISIS] caliphate.”

The only way to draw people away from ISIS is set up a rival sharia state with a seat at the UN and leader in a suit, right?

“So we need to create a new leader, or modern counter-caliph, to start recruiting members from Abu Bakr’s constituency, dismantling his power base one man at a time. Countering religion with religion is key, but it has to come with work opportunities, education, and a better life that would convince Muslims that life is worth living — not dying for.”

Because, of course, dogmatic theocracies are just so well know for producing great education systems, job opportunities and peaceful rational societies.

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