The Media’s Six Simple Rules for Criticizing Children of Politicians

The media has six hard and fast rules that dictate how the children of politicians should be handled.

Anyone confused by the media’s standards on this issue simply haven’t been paying attention.

1. Any unknown Republican staffer who says anything critical about a Democrat’s child will become the top story for at least a  day. Vilification will be non-stop. Even after she apologizes and loses her job, she will remain the top story for another half day as the media piles on and proves it vetted her more than they ever did Barack Obama or ObamaCare.

2. Aging conspiracy theorists who fabricate conspiracies to question the parentage of a Down Syndrome child whose mother put Barack Obama behind in the polls until the economy crashed, will be treated as one of the media’s elder statesman and  enjoy the imprimatur of regular appearances on network Sunday morning news shows and cable network roundtable discussions.

3. Any adult child of any Democrat involved in a drug or alcohol scandal will have that story told with sober seriousness. The story will be told dutifully and without a hint of exploitation. No narratives about bigger issues will come out of that story. The story will last for no more than 12 hours.

4. Any child of any Republican involved in a non-scandal involving alcohol will find themselves snarked at on the cover of People Magazine.

5. Cable network anchors who attack the adult children of Democrats will be fired.

6. Cable network anchors who ask viewers to join her in laughing out loud at audio of a Republican pol’s adult child reporting an assault will not even be required to apologize on the air.

If you need the media’s standards even more simplified, it comes down to this:

1. Children of Democrats are off-limits (as it should be).

2. Children of Republicans are fair game.

If even that is too hard to comprehend, it comes down one very simple rule:

1. Democrats sure got it good.

John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC