As Predicted: PETA Strikes Back at Jennifer Lawrence

Not boasting or anything. Predicting the humorless, joyless PETA would strike back at Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t require a crystal ball.

And so, here we go:

“She’s young and the plight of animals somehow hasn’t yet touched her heart,” PETA president Ingrid Newkirk said in a statement Tuesday.

“As Henry David Thoreau said,’The squirrel you kill in jest, dies in earnest.’ When people kill animals, it is the animals who are ‘screwed,’ not PETA, and one day I hope she will try to make up for any pain she might cause any animal who did nothing but try to eke out a humble existence in nature.”

Here’s the other part I predicted, the attempt to Borg Lawrence into the collective is officially on:

“That was just a throw-away remark,” Newkirk added later in the day to E! News, “and we have our bet on Jennifer ending up joining the ranks of other young celebrities like Natalie Portman, Lea Michele, and Kellan Lutz who are using their influence to help animals.”

Hollywood is all about the left-wing fascism, so PETA will reach out to Tinseltown players who will then reach out to Lawrence who will then be bullied into assimilation.

That’s right, I said “bullied.”